Lori Calabrese, MD

Author: Lori Calabrese, M.D.

  • When You See that Not All Kids are Butterflies

    When You See that Not All Kids are Butterflies

    Not all kids are butterflies, some are quiet, shy, and thoughtful.

    Marc and Amber had two children. One who was outgoing and gregarious…who never met a stranger…and one who was shy, inhibited, and thoughtful, as well as very intelligent. Cecie was the outgoing one who lived in joy and exuberance, but not all kids are butterflies. Liam was the deep thinking, brooding one. When they were young, Marc and Amber thought they’d never have to worry about Cecie who seemed to have the world at her feet. But they did worry about Liam, as he usually seemed so tied up in knots, rarely relaxing. As the oldest, he looked after Cecie to some degree, but she tried to help him, too. When they were very young, Liam was too shy to order French fries for himself, or an ice cream. But Cecie loved to stand on her tiptoes, peer over the counter, and order for both of them. And Liam was happy for the help.

    However, what really worried his parents was that Liam found it so difficult to make friends. Amber would accompany him to class on his first day of school the first few years, and strike up conversations with students at nearby desks. She saw it as priming the pump, so to speak. Once she could encourage conversation between Liam and at least one other student, she would bid him goodbye and leave the classroom.  It was the best she knew to do to ease his pain.

    Not all kids are butterflies, so some kids prefer solitude.

    Even as a young child, Liam’s palms sweated when he was in social situations. His face would freeze, and he’d be stiff all over. It was so difficult for him to relax and engage with others. He could hardly talk. He wanted friends, but couldn’t overcome the frozen state that would overcome him around his peers. Bottom line, it’s just a fact that not all kids are butterflies. What’s easy for one may be extremely difficult for another.

    Giving Liam Tools

    Amber worked with him from a young age to help him develop positive responses to new people, by smiling and reaching out to shake their hands… and saying, “I’m Liam. I’m glad to meet you.”  Liam was relieved to have something he could memorize and do in those terrifying, awkward moments.

    Marc recognized that his son struggled to function around people he didn’t know, but saw that he was relaxed and happy at home. He didn’t see what Amber saw, as Liam tried to navigate his way through so many situations. They enrolled him in Little League, to help him work with a team, and to have access to other boys his age.

    Thankfully, there was usually a kid who was so outgoing that he reached out tenaciously to overcome Liam’s withdrawal and connect with him. If they hadn’t, he would have never had a friend. He just couldn’t ever seem to make any overtures toward others around him. When he was thrown into situations that presented him with mandatory interaction, Liam just tucked his chin and endured.

    Amber worried.

    She thought about what life would throw at Liam when he grew up. How would he apply for a job? How would he survive in college? Living with a roommate in the dorm? How would he ever relax enough to develop friendships with girls…?  To eventually date? Would he ever become independent enough to build a rewarding, meaningful life? She recognized that not all kids are butterflies, but how could she help him overcome the obstacles he faced?

    A mom worries when she knows not every kid is a butterfly.

    By the time Liam was in middle school, he was developing more and more interest in computers, software, apps, and games. He would play online games with others and found it so much easier to interact online where he was anonymous. 

    Marc and Amber were glad to see him spreading his wings, at least virtually. They were glad he was actually connecting with people he didn’t know. They talked with him about being safe, and not allowing himself to be lured away from the house, or to let anyone have access to his own computer from the outside.

    With impatience, Liam said, “Of course not.”

    They knew he was intelligent as well as self protective. In spite of being so withdrawn, he was also pretty savvy. They hoped that playing these games would help him develop social skills in a way that would eventually pay off in his life in a bigger sense.

    Maybe a Party Would Help

    They encouraged him to invite friends over…maybe have a party. He looked at them aghast.

    “A party..? I have one friend. I don’t know people to invite to a ‘party’ for gosh sakes. But thanks for trying.”

    Ok, so not all kids are butterflies. Amber knew so well that Liam marched to a different drummer. Even so, she tried to get acquainted with the parents of the one friend Liam spent time with. She encouraged Liam to invite the friend — Jason — to spend the night. She was always always looking for ways to help Liam branch out, relax, enjoy life, and make friends, even in little ways.

    Not all kids are butterflies, but Cecie was...she never met a stranger.

    Meanwhile, Cecie’s social life bloomed constantly. She had slumber parties, pedicure parties, cookie swaps with her friends. She was always busy, always enthusiastically planning something new and exciting. It was all Amber could do to keep up with her daughter’s schedule.

    You might say she had a child on each end of the extreme. One was such a social butterfly, she kept Amber exhausted. The other was such a loner, it kept her worried about whether he’d ever be able to function in the world.

    She loved them both so much.  How could she prepare both of them for what life would throw at them?

    By the time Liam was in high school, his academic accomplishments were remarkable. But he refused to attend the awards ceremonies each year to receive his rewards for his performance.  He wanted nothing to do with the crowded auditorium and the noise of all those people talking. Not all kids are butterflies, but it grieved Amber that her son couldn’t go to the ceremonies for the rewards he had earned.

    By this time he had refused to go into another barbershop or hair dresser’s for a haircut. Again, he just couldn’t handle the noise or the people he didn’t know. So his hair grew. And grew.

    And he spent his waking hours outside of school with his nose glued to the computer screen.

    Not all kids are butterflies, some prefer to be alone at a computer.

    But, Marc and Amber had to admit that it wasn’t all bad. Liam was developing real, marketable skills in the thousands of hours he spent on the computer. He’d learned how to design and build apps and had even sold one to a business that offered fishing guides and tackle.

    Even so…how would he go to college when he couldn’t handle noise or strangers? How could he live in the dorm…? How could he go to work eventually and support himself?

    Permanently Dependent Middle Aged Child?

    Amber pictured…in her mind’s eye… Marc and herself in their 60’s with their son in his 40’s still living at home and interacting with the world on his computer. What if he didn’t overcome this? It wasn’t that a job like that wouldn’t be honorable. It was that there needed to be more to his life than a computer screen. Marriage, children, baseball games, skiing, hobbies…all the things people enjoy when they aren’t working. It made her sick to think of her beautiful son withdrawn and dependent on his parents to protect him from a world of people and places. Sure, not all kids are butterflies, but didn’t he deserve to be happy? Was he happy?

    She just didn’t know how to help him.

    She and Marc talked about it from time to time, wondering how they might encourage his development. Such a gifted young man, but hidden away in his own personal cave.

    Then, Marc read about depression and social anxiety. He recognized the symptoms that he saw in his son. Armed with that insight, he googled  treatments for depression as well as treatments for social anxiety. IV ketamine treatment kept emerging in the articles he read. 

    Apparently, ketamine treatment demonstrated effectiveness in many cases of depression, and for some, could relieve the symptoms of social anxiety. He learned that social anxiety could critically interfere with social development, job interviews, and independence.

    He talked with Amber about what he’d learned. 

    Parents worry about their children, especially since not all kids are butterflies.

    That Liam’s extreme withdrawal could actually be symptoms of a condition, as opposed to just being his personality. His sweating palms, shaking hands, frozen facial expression were caused by anxiety. And it could be treated. 

    He also talked to Amber about herself. Sixteen years of worrying about her son had become almost obsessive, and her tensions, fears, and exhaustion might also be symptomatic of depression and anxiety in her, too.

    Amber agreed to call a doctor in their area who’d been mentioned in one of the articles they read. She made an appointment for all three of them to talk with the psychiatrist.

    The doctor wanted to see Amber and Liam individually, then she spoke with all three together.

    She agreed that ketamine treatment could be of great benefit to Liam, and could open up so many possibilities for him. She also agreed that Amber’s stress had worn down her resilience and hope. 

    The doctor encouraged the family to consider ketamine treatment for both of them, with the understanding that ketamine isn’t for everyone. In some cases, it didn’t result in the desired outcome…at least, initially. But in the vast majority of cases, it could be transformative…and even lead to remission.

    Hope Rises

    Liam felt hope for the first time in is life. He really wanted to receive the treatment, and they scheduled him for the infusions to begin that day. Maybe it could turn out ok that not all kids are butterflies. Maybe just maybe?

    Not all kids are butterflies, but social anxiety can be helped with ketamine treatment.

    Amber was reluctant at first. But when she saw her son’s transformation over the next few weeks, she agreed with Marc that she should schedule treatments for herself, too.

    Liam felt better after the first treatment. He felt like a load was being lifted off him. With each infusion, he felt more relaxed, more comfortable in his own skin, and more at ease with others. He signed up for the debate club at school and excelled at each competition. His confidence grew as his team mates praised him and patted him on the back.

    Amber was amazed at Liam’s improvement. But it was like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. However, after her own third infusion, she noticed feeling better. She continued with 7 infusions in all, and found herself flooded with hope, confidence, and creativity. 

    As a family, the four of them began to enjoy each other in a new way.  They laughed together with Liam cracking as many clever jokes as Cecie did. Liam found himself spending more and more time with his friends on the debate team, sometimes at his house, and sometimes elsewhere.

    Confidence Helps Him Excel

    Ketamine treatment can help with social anxiety and help you make friends.

    By the time he graduated with his hair pulled back in a man-bun, he had earned 3 scholarships for the university he planned to attend. It no longer mattered that not all kids are butterflies. Liam was excelling for who he was.

    Liam looked forward to college and to living in the dorm. He was ready to leave home and spread his wings. Marc and Amber could hardly contain the gratitude they felt about Liam’s blossoming.

    And Amber had the energy and initiative to enjoy her husband on a new level, without the worry that had kept her captive for so long. She found new things to do with Cecie and enjoyed the trips they took together exploring universities for her.

    Parents worry about a child with social anxiety, but ketamine treatment can help.

    Sometimes the stress of one family member spills over into others in the family. Sometimes there are those who suffer in the most obvious way, but others who suffer in the shadows.

    Ketamine treatment is versatile, and can treat a variety of conditions. 

    If you or your loved one has suffered from symptoms like Liam or Amber did, and nothing else has helped, call us.

    We want to see you bloom and enjoy the best you, you can be.

    Give yourself the hope, creativity, confidence, and resilience you need to live your best life.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • What To Do When Letting Go Breaks Your Heart

    What To Do When Letting Go Breaks Your Heart

    When your child makes bad decisions and he's grown, letting go breaks your heart.

    “Kayle!  Kaaaaaayle!! Are you home?” No answer. Beth called again, then ran upstairs to check his bedroom. She knocked on the closed door. “Kayle?” Silence.  Beth opened his door, and there was Kayle, sound asleep. The room smelled like body odor, and his dirty clothes were piled on every surface, and hanging from every protrusion. It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Had he been asleep all day? “Kayle! Wake up!! It’s 4pm and you need to get up. Did you look for a job today? Were you up all night?” Kayle’s sloppy life style, lack of motivation, and self absorption was getting to her.  She and Sean, Kayle’s dad, had reared him to be responsible and hard working, but it didn’t seem to work as well with Kayle as with the other two. They knew they needed to put their foot down. But little did they know, they were about to find out what to do when letting go breaks your heart.

    Kayle’s older sisters were both good students, and worked at jobs while carrying a full load in college. But Kayle was the youngest, and the least motivated of the three. What was most upsetting was that he seemed to lack the moral fiber they had tried so hard to instill in their kids.

    When Sean got home from work, Beth talked with him about Kayle. 

    “Whatever we’re doing with Kayle, it isn’t working. He seems to have gotten into a pattern of staying up all night and sleeping all day. He’s caught up in himself and his friends, without taking responsibility for his own life. I think we need to think about requiring him to pay rent or else get his own apartment. Something that will force him to get a job and take responsibility for himself. What do you think? Since he finished high school he seems to think he’s on a permanent vacation.”

    “Whew Beth! What brought this on?”

    “I got home at 4 this afternoon and he was sound asleep. Clearly he’d been asleep all day. He’s not building his own life…it’s worrying me to the bone! To make matters worse, he needs a shower and his room smells like he does. I seriously wonder what goes on at night while we’re sleeping…”

    You worry about your son when he's making bad decisions - letting go breaks your heart.

    “Ok, ok Beth. I see what you mean. I’ve been so busy with work I hadn’t realized what he’d been up to. Let’s talk with him this weekend about his options.”

    Beth and Sean went to bed… and at about 1:45 am the doorbell rang.

    “What the heck..??” Sean picked up the bat he kept by the bed and headed downstairs to see who was at the door at this time of the night.

    He opened the door to two police officers.

    “Is something wrong? We didn’t call 911.”

    One of the officers spoke up. “Is Kayle Jackson here?”

    “Yes, he’s in bed. May I ask what this is about?”

    “We need to speak with him please. Would you wake him up?”

    “Yes, OK. Would you like to step inside?”

    Sean let them into the entry hall, and went upstairs to wake Kayle. When he reached his room, he tapped on the door then opened it. No one was in Kayle’s bed. In fact, Kayle was nowhere to be seen. By now, Beth had donned her robe and met Sean in the hall. A slow dread creeped up the back of her neck…the feeling that they were about to find out what to do when you have to let go…and letting go breaks your heart. 

    “What’s going on?”

    Letting go breaks your heart when the police arrive for your child.

    “The police are here and want to see Kayle. But he’s gone! No sign of him!”

    Sean quickly returned downstairs and told the police that Kayle wasn’t in the house and he was supposed to be in bed.

    One of the officers handed Sean a card, and asked him to call him immediately if he heard from him.

    Sean and Beth couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. They made coffee and sat together in the living room. Their hearts were gripped with fear for Kayle, and they were also angry that he was up to something dishonorable…whatever it was.

    As the light of dawn shone through the windows, they heard the kitchen door open and close. Footsteps padded through the house toward the stairway, then they saw him.

    “Kayle?”

    He stopped in his tracks and spun around to see them both sitting in the living room. Busted, he thought.

    His dad asked, “Where have you been??”

    “Just hanging out with friends.” Kayle shifted his weight from foot to foot.

    “Kayle, the police were here. They’re looking for you. What have you done??”

    Kayle cleared his throat, then said, “I’m sure it’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it.” He turned to start up the stairs.

    An angry dad demands his son be respectful and take responsibility for his actions.

    “Kayle Sumner Jackson! Don’t you dare blow us off. It IS a big deal when police come to the door at 2 am looking for you. I have the phone number they left and you need to call and find out what it’s about. You have a lot of explaining to do, and we have to talk about decisions that need to be made.”

    “Dad..Mom…I am not going through this right now. I’m not going to let you intimidate me. I’m certainly not going to call them. Right now I’m going upstairs to go to bed. I’m no longer a kid, and I will make my own decisions.” With that, Kayle ran upstairs and slammed his bedroom door. Once again, the realization hit them that they were going to have to let go and letting go breaks your heart.

    Sean and Beth fumed. Where did their son get the nerve to treat them so disrespectfully?? 

    The doorbell rang. Again.

    Sean answered the door to the same two officers. It was now 6:30am.

    “Hello, Mr. Jackson, we followed Kayle here, and saw him enter your house from the back. May we come in? We need to take him into custody before he escapes again.”

    “Yes, come in. But what is this about..?”

    The officers told him they needed to speak directly to Kayle. They started up the stairs to find his room.

    When your son is arrested, you have to let go and it breaks your heart.

    Sean and Beth heard them announce themselves and then heard some scuffling.  Then Kayle and the two police officers started down the stairs with Kayle in handcuffs.

    “Mr. Jackson, we’re placing your son under arrest.”

    They walked out the front door, led Kayle to the patrol car, opened the back door and guided his head down into the car. After closing him into the back seat, they drove off.

    Sean and Beth were speechless.

    Stunned.

    Something inside Beth snapped. Shattered. 

    What was happening to her son? Where did they go wrong? What would happen to Kayle? What would it be like for him in jail? All night long?  And then what?  This wasn’t likely to go away. 

    WHAT had he done??

    Of course, they called their lawyer friend. Asked him to find out what Kayle was being charged with. What should happen next?

    Beth felt like she was in a time warp. She couldn’t think, her heart felt like a stone in her chest. How could they have been so oblivious?  Letting go was breaking her heart…

    Days turned into weeks and revelations abounded. Kayle had been involved in selling prescription drugs to students. Where did he get them?  How did this happen? As charges were filed, and he was arraigned, it became more and more clear that Kayle wasn’t the innocent but lazy kid they thought he was. He had been selling these drugs since he was in high school. 

    The police had too much evidence for the lawyer to make this go away. When they visited Kayle in jail, there was a hardness about him. He wasn’t sorry for breaking the law, just sick that he’d been caught. 

    Sean was angry.

    A slow, hot, boiling rage burned inside him. Beth was heartbroken. She’d wanted to protect Kayle from anything like this ever happening. She’d tried to guide him when he seemed to be veering off during his teens. But apparently, he had connected with friends who influenced him to partake in activities that were illegal, and unfortunately he’d gotten away with it until he was breaking the law in a serious way.

    Beth felt like she was walking in a gray sludge. She felt so crushed. So heart broken. She couldn’t separate her heart from her love for Kayle. She wished she could protect him. But Beth also felt furious, betrayed by him, and abandoned. How could he turn his back on all they stood for? He knew better. 

    When you let go, it breaks your heart.

    It took weeks before she could cry. But one day she decided to clean his room, and gathered up his smelly laundry… and sat down and cried and cried. She poured out her heart, her loss, her fear, her disappointment.

    After that, it was like she just went through the motions. Her emotions seemed dead. She felt hopeless. It felt as though Kayle was dead, except he wasn’t. He was still her baby, her youngest, and he was vulnerable in that jail with all those other criminals. She was just sick about it. Her sense of helplessness warred with her desire to protect her son and the recognition she needed to let him work out his own life, mistakes, and consequences. It was all unbearable to her. Letting go was painfully breaking her heart.

    Kayle’s story was a blur. He was arrested, without remorse, faced trial, was convicted, and sentenced to 3 years in prison.

    A few months after he went to prison, Sean sat down with Beth and talked with her about the need for her to let go, and try to live for her family and for herself. He reminded her that she had two more children besides Kayle, and a husband who loved her. He emphasized that as heartbroken as they both felt, Kayle had made a series of terrible decisions over a period of years. They both still loved him and would love him whether he was in prison, or free. He was their son.

    Beth told him she just couldn’t function. She felt so dead inside. And she knew that grief contributed to it. But she had absolutely no energy to do anything or care about anything. She didn’t know how to find her real self again. She knew she loved her husband and family, but couldn’t seem to express it. Everyone saw it. Letting go of Kayle was breaking her heart.

    “Beth, honey, I’ve been talking to our friend Ben. Since he’s a psychiatrist, I thought he might have some ideas to help us through this. He pointed out that my ongoing rage is probably a symptom of depression… that this isn’t uncommon in men. And he said you really sound depressed to him — though he couldn’t diagnose you without talking to you. 

    “He suggested IV ketamine treatment.

    “He said it’s been providing extraordinary relief to people around the world who are depressed. Maybe that could be a possibility.”

    Sean and Beth went together to the doctor Ben had recommended for a consultation. Even though their symptoms presented so differently, they were both candidates for IV ketamine treatment. A family friend drove them both to each treatment. After the second one, Sean noticed the anger that had consumed him seemed like it was dissolving. After the third treatment, Beth began to feel the stirring of some emotion. 

    They continued until they felt better. Sean received 8 treatments, and Beth received 10 plus a booster a month later.

    By that time, they were both finding joy in daily living, laughing while they prepared dinner, talking freely again. Their letters to Kayle were much more upbeat and hopeful. And Kayle was sounding better and better. He was remorseful that he had not tried harder to build his life when he had the chance, and was turning a new leaf for his future. He planned to go to city college when he got out.

    They hoped that was true, but knew only Kayle could make that happen. Still, they would support him if he did. They’d learned a lot about letting go and how it can break your heart.

    In the meantime, Sean and Beth made an effort to visit the girls at school periodically, to keep their family close. They were just so relieved that they had the energy and motivation to do it.

    When you let go of worrying, it makes room for loving.

    Sometimes a family can seem shattered by a serious crisis. 

    Sometimes we need help to pull the family back together and re-establish purpose and connections.

    A treatment like ketamine can put the tools for growth and healing back in your hands. 

    If the stress of a severe crisis has worn you down and you’re experiencing symptoms like Beth or Sean, call us.

    Ketamine treatment isn’t for everyone. We evaluate you carefully to determine if you’re a candidate. And if you are, we can work with you to rediscover your best self. We can help you recover by showing you the steps you can take to be who you strive to be.

    Give yourself the best advantage for a rewarding and fulfilling life.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • Worry About His Apathy? IV Ketamine Treatment Can Help

    Worry About His Apathy? IV Ketamine Treatment Can Help

    Dad worries about Will's apathy, but his son isn't responding.

    Dan and Teresa were worried. It had been going on so long, they couldn’t remember when it started. Their son, Will, had been a good natured boy growing up, and had shown responsibility and good intentions when asked to tend to tasks to contribute to the family. He had always had a sparkle in his eye, enthusiasm for family projects, and did his best to carry his weight. But somewhere along the way, he had become more passive, quieter to some degree…and less interested in conversation with his parents. Or at least it seemed that way. It seemed that he honestly didn’t care about much of anything. Dan’s worry about his apathy was eating a hole in his heart.

    Why Was Will So Apathetic?

    He didn’t have many friends as far as his parents could tell, and showed little interest in inviting them over. He spent a lot of time alone in his room, playing video games or watching TV. He’d been a conscientious student through middle school, but now his grades barely passed. When they set limits on his alone time, and insisted he do his homework, it made only the slightest difference in his overall grades.

    Dan and Teresa tried to talk with him but he just didn’t have anything to say. He just stared at his lap and said, “I don’t know…” over and over.

    Dad worries about his son's apathy and can't seem to get through to him.

    It was maddening, frustrating, and irritating. But mostly they were getting really worried about him. They didn’t seem to know Will any more. That was the worst of it. That and the fear they felt for his future. Their worry about his apathy dominated their minds.

    After racking their brains to try to think of something to draw him out of his funk, it occurred to them he might enjoy a family camping trip… and maybe he’d relax enough to talk… even a little.

    Family Camping Trip

    So they scheduled it for a 3 day weekend that was coming up, and packed up his favorite foods for the trip. They also rented a kayak, hoping he might enjoy paddling around the lake.

    Will didn’t fight the idea of going, but he also showed no enthusiasm for it. Even this! Teresa was tempted to feel offended, but she tried to push those thoughts out of her mind. Hoping for the best, the family took off for a state park an hour away.

    Teresa tried to strike up a conversation in the car, but Will only answered her questions with a single word: yes… or no. Finally, she popped in a CD hoping that music would soothe whatever was wrong.  

    A camping trip can help to relieve worry about son's apathy.

    But what was wrong? Why did Will seem so disconnected? Did anything matter to him?

    Dan was tied up in knots about it. He had trouble focusing on his job, or accomplishing much of anything. His intelligent and gifted son seemed to have checked out of life. In a couple years he would need to go to college to try to start to build his future, but Dan knew if something didn’t give, he’d never make it in college.

    His fear for his son seemed to translate to stomach pain. The more he worried, the greater his pain. He knew he should probably talk to his doctor about it, but he just didn’t have time for this right now. It was such a distraction. He feared for Will. And his worry about Will’s apathy made him just want to put his fist through a wall. Would he ever be able to take care of himself? 

    Will Sheds Some Light

    Their camping was uneventful until the second day. Dan and Teresa were cooking fish they’d caught in the lake over an open fire. Will was hungry and enjoyed the aroma of the fish and veggies cooking. He broke the silence.

    “Listen you guys, I know you’re worried about me. I don’t know what to say. Just don’t feel like doing much of anything. I don’t care about school or friends. Really, I don’t care about anything. But I don’t know why. I know I used to when I was a kid. But it’s like something died inside me. I don’t know what happened.”

    Teresa put her arm around her son. 

    Worry about his apathy can be resolved with treatment for both of you.

    “Thanks for opening up about it, Will. We’ll help. If you’re willing, we’d like to pursue some ideas to try to help you. Would you be willing to see a doctor?”

    Dan added, “Sometimes pressures and hormones make it really tough to figure things out. Be patient with yourself, son.”

    They ate the smoky food in silence, but some tension had been broken.

    Dan Gets His Own Insight

    Dan realized, in the relief of that breakthrough, that he’d let his own worry for Will overwhelm him and interfere in his life and work.  He’d become irritable with his wife and son…and avoided emotional intimacy with them because he couldn’t face the failure he felt about raising a son who wasn’t OK, who might not be successful. He’d lost faith that his son was going to grow up to be OK. 

    He had to shake himself to remember that life can be messy. It doesn’t always follow a smooth, linear path to a happy ending. And his family needed him to be available, engaged, and caring. He needed to be on his game. But his worry about Will’s apathy was so intense at this point, he felt like he needed some help to be functional again…for his family and for himself.

    After searching the internet to see what might help, he learned that ketamine treatment had proven particularly helpful for depression and anxiety. After studying what he could about doctors in his area who offered it, he settled on a psychiatrist with a strong reputation, and made an appointment to discuss it.

    Dan Takes a Step to Get Help

    Dan was irritable because of his worry about Will's apathy.

    It occurred to him that this same treatment might help Will, but he felt like Will needed some time to accept — and participate in — treatment, and he also knew that he needed help so he could help Will.

    His initial consultation with the psychiatrist revealed he was actually depressed, and that since he had tried a couple different antidepressants (that didn’t help) the previous year, he needed something more.

    IV Ketamine Treatment

    So he was scheduled for IV ketamine treatment, which involved 6 or more infusions over about 3 weeks.

    After each infusion, he felt a change. It was subtle at first, but by the third or fourth infusion he realized he was beginning to feel better about himself and his life. He felt some hope about Will, and began to know that Will was going to be ok with time and support.

    He received 7 infusions in all, and continued to feel better and better over the next few weeks that followed.

    A New Lease on Life

    By then it seemed his patience had grown, as well as his insight into Will’s situation. Dan felt a new lease on life, to tell the truth. And he had more and more energy for engaging with his wife and son. He found ways to talk with Will that his son responded to favorably, and trust began to grow again between them.

    Teresa was so relieved to have her husband back, and together they built their relationship stronger and deeper. Plus Will’s outlook began to also improve in that atmosphere.

    Will finally told his parents he was worried about his own apathy, and that he’d like to talk to the doctor about ketamine treatment for himself. Watching the change in his dad gave him hope that maybe there was help for him, too.

    The doctor explained that ketamine treatment wasn’t for everyone, but since Dan and Will were related and Dan had responded so well, chances were good that it could help Will, too.

    As it happened, Will responded very well to his own ketamine treatment. Though he couldn’t tell any difference after the first few infusions, he could feel himself feeling again after the 4th. It wasn’t dramatic at first, but still undeniable.

    After 8 infusions, Will’s motivation grew stronger, and initiative replaced the apathy that had plagued him. He started doing better and better in school, and by the end of the year was making A’s and B’s.  Confusion and brain fog gave way to more clarity. The future began to matter to Will, and he started thinking about what career he might want to prepare for in college.

    Life Takes a Turn

    Dan, Teresa, and Will grew closer after weathering depression, anxiety, and hopelessness together, then recovering together after ketamine treatment. They had forged a bond, and developed insights together they hadn’t had before. They no longer worried about anyone’s apathy — because it just wasn’t there anymore — and were free to enjoy the richer aspects of life.

    They branched out socially, like they hadn’t in years. Will developed more friendships and Teresa and Dan began to get out more, too.

    It’s amazing how restoration of hope and resilience can affect so many aspects of life.

    When father and son weather a difficult time together and learn to trust each other, a stronger bond is forged.

    But it can.

    If you’re worried about a family member, and it’s affecting your performance at home or at work, you can probably relate to Dan. Or maybe you struggle with apathy yourself…?

    Apathy may not be a willful refusal to ignore what’s important. It can be a symptom of depression. 

    If you’re struggling a lot like Dan or Will, and you haven’t found anything that helps, call us.

    As Will’s doctor pointed out, ketamine doesn’t help everyone, but it can be remarkably helpful to most who receive it. 

    Applying your efforts to building a healthy infrastructure, living a lifestyle that supports joy, and eating a diet rich in flavonoids and healthy fats, you can increase the benefits you receive from your ketamine treatment. 

    Let us help you celebrate your best self for a long time to come.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • When Life Tanks – You Can Still Land on Your Feet

    When Life Tanks – You Can Still Land on Your Feet

    In spite of crises, you can still land on your feet.

    Tom was worried sick. After twenty years of marriage, his wife had left. He had three kids, Bella and Dylan at home and Bodin in college, and he was desperately trying to keep their family afloat. His wife, Karen, had had an affair with the guy across the street. Then she moved out to pursue a new lifestyle. Her behavior had been erratic, and she was drinking heavily. Tom was afraid for the kids to be alone with her, afraid of the danger of her driving under the influence. The kids missed her dreadfully, and cried that she had left. They were too young to understand her behavior, and blamed Tom that he “drove her away.” When your family tanks–how can you land on your feet?

    He not only felt helpless, he was helpless. And so betrayed. The kids seemed to be instinctively protective of her. He understood and tried to support their emotions, while continuing to be strong so they’d feel secure. But he didn’t feel strong. He felt like he’d unravel at any moment.

    Friends of the family tried to help by taking the kids to school when they missed their bus, dropping by with dinner, and shuttling the kids to their practices and home again. Tom was beyond grateful for the kind souls who helped in so many ways while he was at work.

    But in his core, he’d never felt so gutted, so without resilience, in the face of all this. Although he required they clean their rooms and help with folding clothes, he was tolerant with just how little they did; they barely completed their chores. Everyone was hurting.

    Sometimes there are too many worries to land on your feet, so you sob.

    Then the phone calls started.

    Late night drunken phone calls from his estranged wife, accusing him of all sorts of despicable acts that came out of her twisted, inebriated imagination. She was immune to reason, and the fact that he had never even thought of doing the vile acts she accused him of made no difference. Her bitterness toward him drove her to tell all these horrors to the kids. And the trusting kids believed her.

    After he would end the call, he’d quake with sobs, unable to believe his wife of over 20 years could even think these things. How do you land on your feet in this chaos?

    But as terrible as all this was, his deepest fear was the potential damage to his kids. Bella and Dylan were in middle school. They were old enough to assert themselves and express their anger, but too young to be able to reason what was reality and what was imaginary on their mom’s part.

    After living lives as a happy family, with activities, responsibilities, and rewards, this traumatic situation had crashed into them out of left field. Everything they had grown up to believe in was being shattered. Their trust was shattered. How would they ever be OK again and land on their feet?

    How would they live their lives after seeing their very foundations disintegrate beneath them?

    It's too hard to land on your feet when you make too many bad choices.

    Next, it came out that his wife had been living with a new guy, but had left him and was living with another. 

    How could he let his children go to her house?  In the midst of all that?? But if he forced his will, it would alienate the kids even more than they already were.

    He told them often how much he loved them, and how heartbroken he was that they were going through this chaos, but it was hard for them to hear. They were torn about whether they could believe him because it would imply their mom couldn’t be believed. They didn’t really want to consider that.

    And what about school?  The trauma and chaos in their family life caused school to dim in importance for them. Tom talked with them often about how important it was to try to stay engaged in school and not let it slide. That their involvement in something steady, stimulating, and reliable could really help them get through all this.

    Tom tried so hard.

    To keep their home intact, eat evening meals at the table so they could talk about their day, to ask about their homework and how it was going for them. They insisted on going to their mom’s house so he gave in. But each time he worried and worried that they’d  have access to alcohol, or some other substance. He knew his wife lacked boundaries when she was like this.

    Drinking alcohol to excess can lead to driving under the influence.

    He also worried about a car accident if his wife drove impaired.

    Never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined he would one day use the courts to protect his kids from their own mom. She’d been a great nurturing mom up until now. It was shattering. He seriously wondered if there was any path back to restoring their family. He deeply feared he would have to parent the children alone.  They deserved so much more. He desperately hoped they could land on their feet a year from now.

    After the kids told him about a close call in the car, he talked to his lawyer to require the kids have visitation with their mom at his house, so he could keep them safe. And that made the kids more angry.

    Tom’s work suffered severely. But after 25 years in a strong company, they were giving him lots of slack to manage the crises in his family. However, he just couldn’t seem to revive the creative thought that had earned him his position. When he was at the office, he was stymied by distraction, wondering how the kids were doing.  He hoped his oldest was managing to keep his grades up in college. 

    Time would tell about that.

    Finally, he had to sit down and think hard about the stress. The kids were suffering from a great deal of stress, but it wasn’t just the kids. He, himself, was suffering. And it was affecting everything. His work, his effectiveness with his children in their time of need, his own health and wellbeing. Something just had to give.

    When times are hard, you have to think about what you can change to land on your feet.

    He decided to make an appointment with the psychiatrist his wife had seen. He wasn’t sure what he needed, or if he could get his feet back under him. But it just seemed like a good place to start.

    The doctor was so sorry to hear what was going on with Karen. She hoped Karen would reach out for help. But she wanted to focus on Tom and how the traumas and tragedies were affecting him.

    His constant worry, exhaustion, and anxiety plus added depression symptoms, made him a candidate for a special treatment.

    Since antidepressants he had taken earlier that year hadn’t been effective, she recommended ketamine treatment to help him gain hope and resilience. She said it could also calm the unrelenting worry and fear and help him land on his feet again.

    By the third or fourth infusion, Tom could tell he was changing. It was hard to put his finger on it, because it was subtle, but he was feeling stronger… and getting trickles of hope.

    By the 6th infusion, he was laughing at times, and feeling a bit more relaxed.

    He continued for 2 more infusions and began seeing a therapist to help him untangle the emotional paralysis he’d felt. Hope was growing inside him every day. The energy to tackle work was coming back. 

    When a crisis makes life hard, ketamine treatment can help you land on your feet.

    And he began to rise above the chaos at home and think of fun things to take the kids to do, to help them unwind and talk more freely. As a family, they broadened in their thinking together as they communicated about what had happened with their mom, but also about their hopes and dreams for their own lives.

    They enrolled in riding lessons together, so they could enjoy horses and the fresh air as a family. And they went camping, talking by the fire, making s’mores, and hiking in the mornings.

    Little by little, over time, life began to balance out.

    Meanwhile, Karen kept her appointments with her psychiatrist, and started taking her medications again. Her times with her children became more stable, and less traumatic.

    Bella, Dylan, and Bodin learned to let go of their naive views of their parents, and by living the realities of the crisis, became more adapted to the humanness of their family members, as well as more forgiving. With counseling, they learned to support, rather than attack. They all worked together to land on their feet.

    A crisis may knock you down, but you can land on your feet.

    A family crisis can be shattering when it dismantles the preconceived views family members hold of themselves as a unit. When that happens, it can require energy, adaptation, and a changing perception of people and events. Ketamine’s ability to enhance neuroplasticity can help with this process. It can also repair dendrites and dendritic spines in the synaptic connections between brain cells to improve and increase signaling across the brain. Its action in the lateral habenula can restore your power to enjoy.

    While ketamine treatment isn’t for everyone… for reasons we don’t really understand… it can work extraordinary results in so many people who are just trying to land on their feet.

    If you identify with Tom and his anxiety, depression, and exhaustion in your own family crisis, call us.

    Ketamine treatment can’t solve the fallout of divorce, but it can help you build resilience and hope for balancing out and living a rewarding life again.

    Remember: we work every day together with you to help you live well again, and embrace the challenges you face, through treatment, diet, and a healthy life. Give yourself a chance at the best life for you.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • How to Avoid Helicopter Parenting Your Almost Adult Child

    How to Avoid Helicopter Parenting Your Almost Adult Child

    When you avoid helicopter parenting your adult child things may get out of hand.

    Helen’s quiet, studious daughter Lizzie, didn’t really date in high school. Helen worried about her social life some, but it was still reassuring that she was safe at home. When she graduated and went to college, her social life developed around her dorm. First her roommates, then their friends and boyfriends. By her second semester, she had gone on some dates and was dating one boy frequently. Helen had the chance to meet him when a group of them came home for the weekend and Lizzie held a little gathering. He seemed like a nice enough guy, and was reportedly a good student. But he was soon replaced by another and then another. Her new found freedom had led to some drinking parties and a new found boldness with boys that seemed to be leading her into less than wholesome relationships. Needless to say, her mom became more and more worried. She was torn between being too overly involved and avoiding helicopter parenting her almost adult child.

    When a Child Leaves the Nest

    When a teen leaves the nest they build new relationships.

    Helen had brought Lizzie up to behave in a way that was circumspect, to always keep her dignity and wits about her, and to follow her instincts when it came to evaluating people. In short, to listen to her gut.  But the current boyfriend… now in her sophomore year of college… wasn’t someone Helen felt her daughter was safe with. When she met him, her skin crawled, but she tried to keep a friendly facade in hopes he didn’t sense it.

    She knew her daughter, and knew Lizzie would have to see through him herself. The guy had a “bad boy” air all about him. It was all Helen could do to avoid running screaming from the room. 

    At the end of the weekend, as everyone piled in cars to go back to school, she whispered in her daughter’s ear, “Please be careful, honey. I love you.”

    Lizzie knew her mom was serious, but she determined she would make her own decisions about her own friends. So she continued forward with her friends, their activities, and her latest boyfriend.

    Helen had trouble sleeping that night after Lizzie went back to school. Not knowing what she was up to, seeing what her new friends were like. And spending a couple days around this guy she was seeing.

    Making Her Own Decisions

    She knew Lizzie had to find her own way and that she didn’t want to be a helicopter mom, but the risks to her daughter’s life and well being loomed like a thunder cloud overhead. She sent Lizzie text messages hoping she might find out about how Lizzie perceived this relationship. But Lizzie was evasive and said very little. Helen walked the tightrope about avoiding helicopter parenting her almost adult child.

    For the next few weeks, Helen found it hard to eat. Her heart was in her throat, as anxiety about Lizzie’s welfare rose up inside her. She tried to go about her routine, commuting to work, buying groceries, attending meetings. Still, her palms were sweaty and her stomach churned. Headaches became a daily occurrence.

    To avoid helicopter parenting your adult child you can't see the risks they take.

    Then she got a call from her daughter. Lizzie had had a terrible fight with “the guy” and was crying. 

    “He fights dirty,” Lizzie cried.

    “What do you mean, honey?”

    “He’s mean, has a dirty mouth, and criticizes things I’m insecure about…he ridicules me and humiliates me.”

    Helen paused a moment. “Lizzie, this is a sign of abuse and of a destructive relationship. I hope you’ll take a hard look at how this argument went and walk away from him. At least think about it. You don’t want someone in your life longterm who’s abusive, right?”

    Once again, Helen knew she risked being a helicopter parent to her almost adult daughter. It was so hard to know when to speak and when to bite her tongue. It tied her stomach in knots.

    Mom’s Advice Not So Welcome

    Lizzie took a breath. “I’m not sure I want to break up with him over this. Maybe this was just a bad day for him… I’ll let him cool off a few days then talk with him.”

    Helen privately shook her head. She knew she had to brace herself to endure while her daughter…who was perhaps a bit naive… worked her way through what was best for her.

    Again, she didn’t sleep. She wrestled with her pillow and sheets all night anguishing about this unsavory guy and Lizzie. Wondering if he was ever violent…how persuasive he was when he wanted to be… how far he’d go to get his way.

    She worried, and worried, and worried.

    As your daughter finds her own maturity you can not helicopter parent your adult child.

    She wondered if Lizzie felt a bond with him or just didn’t want to be wrong about him. Frankly, Helen couldn’t imagine what Lizzie saw in him, but maybe she was too old to see his charm. He seemed sleazy to her. But she also knew that lots of young girls are attracted to the bad boy image. He was disgusting to Helen, but she had to avoid helicopter parenting her adult child so she bit her tongue and tried to be gracious and loving.

    Daughter Withdraws

    A week later, Helen called Lizzie to see how she was doing and if she was feeling better. Lizzie seemed distant, guarded. She chatted a bit, but wasn’t at all transparent or natural. 

    So Helen worried. She couldn’t eat much. Her stomach was too upset. She didn’t sleep much. Images of her daughter swirled in her head. Fears her daughter would be scarred if she stayed in this relationship.

    But her daughter wouldn’t talk to her. 

    She believed the best she could do for her daughter was to love her. To keep the channels of communication as open as possible. She sent her an occasional card in the mail with a few sentences about simple things going on in the neighborhood. Or the latest gossip at the hairdresser. 

    This seemed to help. Her daughter welcomed the pleasant notes that didn’t refer to her boyfriend. 

    Helen finally talked to her friend about her situation. She didn’t give a lot of detail about her daughter…just that she was worried about her safety with the guy she was dating. Her friend, Jessica, listened compassionately. Then she pointed out that while Lizzie was finding her way through this challenging situation, Helen needed to take care of herself.

    Talking to A Friend

    “Helen, you’re not sleeping…you’ve lost weight you couldn’t afford to lose. You’ve taken this so hard, and worry is robbing your health. Your fears for Lizzie are backfiring onto you. I know it has taken a lot of courage and strength for you to resist taking her out of school and bringing her home. And as scary as this is, I believe you’ve made the right decision at this point. 

    “Lizzie will learn so much through this awful situation, but she won’t learn it if she is being shielded by you. She’ll just resent you. And maybe make worse decisions about guys going forward. You just must focus on taking care of yourself while she works through this.”

    Two mothers talk about helicopter parenting almost adult child.

    Helen knew Jessica was right.

    “Jessica, how did you get so wise?”  Helen chuckled.

    “I’ve had two kids in college, and there were some scary times as they learned to navigate their way to adulthood. Listen, let’s go to lunch. I want to tell you about someone who helped me when things got really tough.”

    Jessica and Helen clocked out at work and walked to a nearby sandwich shop. They took their food to a corner table and Jessica began.

    Jessica’s Story

    “When my Isabelle was in her third year at the university, and Jimmy was a freshman, they both developed problems. Jimmy was drinking heavily and skipping class, so his grades were not great. Isabelle had gotten serious with a guy who was selling drugs. I didn’t know that at first. But one night there was a police raid at a party where they were and everyone present was taken into custody.

    “It came out that Isabelle hadn’t been participating in the sale of the contraband, but she had tried some hallucinogenic pills that night for the first time. It was the beginning of a time of enormous crisis, and a legal battle to try to keep her life from being ruined by a felony. Talk about the temptation to helicopter parent an almost adult child!

    “Watching both my kids crater the same year was shattering for me, and I eventually became deeply depressed. I could hardly function to help them through the process. It was all I could do to dress and show up at the court hearings and meetings with the lawyer.

    “We gave both kids an ultimatum, because the situation was so severe, that either they could clean up their grades and distance themselves from these friends, or we would stop paying for school and they could drop out and get jobs to support themselves.

    “Thankfully, they both made hard decisions and sought out counseling on campus. They also got to work on their studies. They’re both doing well now. It was a close call. But I had to face that my love and commitment to them combined with my powerlessness to live their lives for them led to depression and anxiety. And I had to get treatment for myself.

    “I learned about a practice that offered ketamine treatment, and sought counseling to help me make better decisions as a parent of transitioning young adults. Around the 4th infusion, I began to get feelings of light inside myself. And the slightest hint of hope. By the 7th, I could tell I had turned a corner. 

    “After 8 infusions, a booster infusion a month later, and a year of therapy, I feel resilient, full of hope, and joy for today and the future. It was a turning point in my life.”

    Moms talk to avoid helicopter parenting their almost adult children.

    Helen Reaches Out for Help

    Helen took a sip of iced tea and thought hard. “May I have the phone number for the practice that does this ketamine treatment?”

    That afternoon, Helen called the practice and made an appointment.

    While Helen focused on her treatment, she had less contact with Lizzie, who was facing her own situation by herself.

    Lizzie Takes a Stand

    One weekend, Lizzie showed up at home for the weekend. She wanted to talk.

    “I broke up with Ethan, Mom. He was volatile and manipulative. I was trying to prove to myself that I was strong enough to love him. But yesterday he slapped me. That was the final straw. I told him we were done…that I would never be with someone who physically hurt me.  To be honest, I’m so relieved it’s over.”

    Helen wrapped her arms around her daughter and hugged her long and hard. She was so glad she had backed off and avoided the helicopter parenting of her almost adult child. Finally. It had paid off.

    “I’m so relieved for you, Lizzie. So relieved. I’m so proud of you for standing by your principles.You’re a fine young woman, and you deserve to be loved, respected, and nurtured. Good for you.”

    They talked off and on all weekend about school, grades, her experiences with Ethan, and Helen’s treatment. It was eye-opening for Lizzie to realize what her mom went through, but she was also proud of her mom for putting her well being first. It was something Lizzie would always remember for herself, too.

    To avoid helicopter parenting your almost adult enjoy serene times of your own.

    What About You?

    Do you find that your worry about your child threatens your own wellbeing? Have you been losing sleep, finding it hard to work, suffering gastrointestinal or headache symptoms, or even trembling at times? Have you lost your footing in trying to avoid helicopter parenting your adult child?

    Ketamine treatment isn’t for everyone, but can be so effective for people who suffer from depression, some forms of anxiety, PTSD, social anxiety, and suicidal thoughts that won’t stop.

    If you suffer from these conditions and and what you’re doing isn’t helping, call us.

    Ketamine treatment can provide relief from symptoms that interfere with your life. Diet changes can also enhance ketamine’s benefits. And its neuroplasticity can help you change your thinking to a more resilient outlook. 

    We are here to help you build a stronger foundation for building a more rewarding life.

    It’s all about you achieving your best self.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • How Optimism Improves Your Healthy Outlook

    How Optimism Improves Your Healthy Outlook

    When life wears you down, optimism improves your healthy outlook.

    How is it that some people seem to maintain a bright outlook in their daily life, including in times of difficulty? Is it naiveté or something else? Others say that their “realistic” outlook has served them well and they rely on it, but their realistic perspective can typically be dangerously pessimistic. And what’s so bad about pessimism? Nothing really, that is if you’re happy with your life. On the other hand, if you suffer from depression or anxiety, your pessimism may actually contribute to it, and be a symptom of it, to boot. If this is the case, you may wonder if there’s a way to develop a more upbeat way of thinking. Because thinking optimistically drives out negativity. And a depressed mind does tend to think negative thoughts. Optimism improves your healthy outlook.

    Ashley was 36, and had her share of bumps in the road. A single mom who’d weathered divorce, she had two teenaged children. The strain of working full time, getting the kids to the school bus on time in the morning, then coming home in the evening to supervise homework, cooking dinner, doing laundry, and talking through problems that came up, kept her on her toes.

    Stresses of life can overwhelm you but optimism improves your healthy outlook.

    Over time, the daily grind, stressors at work, the heartache of her divorce, and dealing with her ex regarding the children, seemed to drain her enthusiasm for living. She’d always been a realist, facing life’s difficulties as they came, and not with a dreamer’s outlook.

    She tried to cope with disappointments by reminding herself that everyone had problems, so what made her any different?

    But then, a major blow invaded their lives. Her ex was in a serious car accident, and her child support stopped. He was in the hospital for a month, then rehabilitation… and she had to find a way to get by. She took a second job at night and on weekends to pay the bills, which added enormous stress to her family. The kids had to fend for themselves for dinner, and be responsible about their homework without her supervision. They also had to do their own laundry. 

    Ashley hated being away so much. She felt desperate. The kids needed her. She checked their homework when she got home at night, and sent notes to their teachers to let them know the family was under an unusual strain for awhile.

    Unfortunately, she found herself venting as she got ready in the mornings, and during her commutes to work. She hated herself for marrying, for bringing innocent children into this mess, for not getting a better education so she could make enough to support her family with one job instead of two.

    The more she vented, the more she wanted to vent. Her anger expanded, her temper sharpened, and her tolerance for all that was required of her weakened. Before too long, she found herself slamming doors, shoving drawers, and snapping at the children. After each scene, she loathed herself. 

    It wasn’t her children’s fault she was so angry…or that she found herself and her family in this situation.

    Finally, she talked to her friend and co-worker, Ginny. Ginny was an optimistic person, and tended to shine a brighter light on life’s events to shed a more positive perspective.]

    When you don't think you can go any further, optimism improves your healthy outlook so you can live again.

    “Ashley, you need a break. It’s no wonder you’re wearing down. You’re working 7 days a week, without relief, and  your kids are raising themselves right now. It’s too much. But your outlook is just making everything worse. 

    “Somehow you’ve got to break the cycle. There are things in your life you can’t change, but there are things you can. And you can start with being your own best friend. You never talk to me the way you talk to yourself. You’ve got to find a way to bring some optimism into your thoughts. Optimism improves a healthy outlook.

    “If I’m struggling, you tell me how great I am, and how my situation is going to get better. You tell me I’m smart, and loving, and capable. You tell me to be patient with myself. But you only talk smack about yourself, Ash. You need to be your own best friend. The things you mumble to yourself when you’re frustrated sink in, and I daresay it works against you in your own mind.

    “Tell yourself, on purpose, the things you tell me when I’m struggling. Tell yourself how faithful you are, how devoted to your children you are. Remind yourself that this is a difficult time, but it’s temporary. Remind yourself that everything is going to be alright, and that you will come out of this on top. Make yourself introduce optimism…optimism improves a healthy outlook, and your need that right now.”

    Ashley was silent.

    She thought about what Ginny said. Her instinct was to argue and refute all of it, but she knew in her gut that Ginny was right.

    It was just that Ashley had never made the effort to talk to herself on purpose. And she’d never talked about things in a hopeful way. She just mumbled to herself about how things were…and quite honestly that was pretty negative. She just never thought about it all like this. This idea that optimism improves a healthy outlook was foreign to her. But she thought she should at least try it.

    Optimism improves your healthy outlook when realistic thinking has defeated you.

    I am capable… she said to herself.  

    It felt strange, sort of a bit contrived. Maybe even a little phony…? But she tried again.  I’m going to help my family get through this difficult time. And again: We’re going to come out of this ok.

    She thought deeper about her situation. I didn’t do anything to cause these problems. I married the children’s father in good faith. But life happens. And our marriage didn’t survive. But we are doing our best to pull together as a family and get through this. And we will. We’ll all learn from it, and we’ll be stronger as individuals and as a family as a result.

    “Yes, that’s true…”. She said to herself. So she said out loud: “I’m going to be ok. My kids are going to be ok. I love my family and I’m what they need to get through hard times in life.” 

    The sound of her own voice was jarring.

    But she also realized that what she was saying seemed to be helping her feel better. Maybe even hopeful?

    She thanked Ginny for her patient encouragement, and told her she would think about everything she said. And she told her she really appreciated her friendship.

    Ginny also used the opportunity to tell Ashley about the depression her own husband had recently recovered from. She explained how pressure at work over years had led to a diagnosis of depression for him. She had watched him deteriorate emotionally and mentally over six months, until he was no longer coping…and was having a tough time performing at work. 

    Ginny's husband is resilient and joyful since his ketamine treatment.

    His boss had seen this happening, and spoke privately with him about the pressure he knew the man had been carrying. He told him about ketamine treatment, and about a psychiatrist who offered it in her office.

    As it turned out, following this treatment, her husband had gotten better and better, embracing challenges at work again, and his restored resilience had helped him function better at home and at work.

    Ginny just said that maybe that information could help Ashley, too.

    After 5 months, Ashley’s ex-husband was back at work and she started receiving child support again. He talked to her and thanked her for her forbearance during the months since his accident. He told her he had taken out a loan to repay her the support he missed during those months and would be sending her monthly payments with 5% interest until it was all reimbursed.

    This was wonderful news, and she quit her second job to be home with the kids again in the evenings and on weekends.

    Happily, her teens had learned to do laundry and cook simple meals during the interim, so she kept those responsibilities in place going forward. This allowed them to do things they enjoyed together as a family on weekends. It was a great reward for their added maturity.

    She also talked with them about the things she learned about pessimism, self hatred, self love, and optimism; and positive self talk became a frequent subject of conversation at home.

    Ketamine treatment and purposeful optimism improved the healthy outlook for Ashley and her family.

    The better Ashley felt, the more she wanted to learn about improving her frame of mind. She wanted to be equipped to build resilience through her ketamine treatment, combined with her newly developed skills of using optimism for her wellbeing. So she read books and blogs to learn more and develop her positive outlook. As it turned out, optimism had improved a healthy outlook in her and her family.

    Taking her life back turned out to be a combination of taking care of herself, supporting herself emotionally, mentally, and physically, feeding herself and her family nutritious meals rich in flavonoids and good fats, and low in carbs, and getting out and having fun together.

    What a life-changing year it had been.

    You can change your life and your outlook, too. Changing your mind to nurture your own brighter perspective can usher in better circumstances. Building an upbeat and hopeful inner life can result in your outer life flourishing.

    With optimism and IV ketamine treatment, joy springs up in your life.

    And if the stress of life has worn down your ability to function, ketamine treatment just might prove to be an important part of your solution.

    If you struggle with hopelessness, despair, feelings of failure… maybe self loathing… and nothing else has helped, call us.

    Let’s talk about whether you’re a candidate for ketamine treatment.

    Ketamine’s not for everyone, but it can be transformative for most, and just may open up a whole new level of wellness for you. When combined with an inner life that fosters healthy thoughts, as well as a diet and activity that foster wellbeing, it can transform your world.

    We want to help you find the best you possible.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • When Your Child Battles With Special Needs… It’s a Battle for You, Too

    When Your Child Battles With Special Needs… It’s a Battle for You, Too

    When your child struggles with a disability, you likely need help too.

    Angela unconsciously rubbed her forehead. She tried not to worry, but it was futile. Her son, Matt, was 17 and suffered with bipolar disorder, as well as a chronic condition that had caused him to lose most of his eyesight. Emotional regulation was very difficult for him, and his medications only helped slightly. The frustration he experienced from his impaired vision triggered frequent explosive reactions. She did all she could to help him cope, find better doctors, take his medication on schedule, etc. But it took all she had to give to try to help him stay on track in his life, and it wasn’t enough. Trouble was, she wouldn’t live forever. What would happen to Matt after she was gone? When your child battles with special needs, you may be the only one who can help.

    She was startled from her reverie by a loud crash. Jumping up, Angela ran toward the sound and discovered Matt in the living room, holding a broken lamp he’d just slammed against the wall.

    “Matt! Is everything ok..?” She kept her tone calm and reassuring. She knew if she showed alarm, Matt would likely escalate. Many years of experience had taught her to avoid inflections, tones, or facial expressions that could incite a reaction from her son.

    “I couldn’t get the light to turn on. When I tried to turn the knob on it, I couldn’t see it and the lamp toppled. I tried to catch it before it fell but it slipped through my hands…!”

    She kept her face frozen in a look of concern. “Oh Matt. I’m so sorry.”

    Does your child struggle with a disability?

    Angela knew Matt hadn’t set out to break the lamp, but he had a short fuse, and responding to frustration calmly always seemed to be beyond his ability. She grabbed the broom and dustpan and swept up the mess then put it in the trash. Matt grabbed his white cane and exploded out the front door.

    She didn’t know where he went, but they were way past the point where she could control what he did or where he went. Countless experiences like this assured her that he’d be back when he’d walked long enough to cool off. When your child battles with special needs, you learn how to navigate the hard moments.

    She made a cup of coffee and sat at the table with it. As she sipped, she thought back over the last 8 years since Matt was diagnosed. Like that first time she saw him pick up a vase and smash it on the tile floor in a rage. The day their lives changed forever.

    Angela felt like such a failure as a mother. She tried to convince herself that Matt’s problems weren’t her fault. That he was ill, and the loss of his eyesight just made it worse. But she often put her parenting under a microscope to critique all her decisions and responses, and it seemed to her that Matt’s behavior was proof that she didn’t have the wisdom to be his mom.

    Once again, she got her laptop and googled facilities that could help her son learn to manage his life. He had never raised a hand to her, had never hurt her. But he had caused a lot of damage to property over the years.

    As she searched, she found few places where he could go for long term treatment and training.  Unfortunately, those she found were prohibitively expensive. She could send him to an Ivy League university for the amount of money required! But she was a single mom, and extremely high monthly tuition was just not available. It’s tough when your child battles with special needs, and you don’t have the funds to get the help for him you wish you could.

    Just then the front door opened, and Matt walked in, stashed his white cane by the door, and looked sheepish. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

    “Oh Matt, I do understand. You know that. Did the walk help?”

    When you child struggles with a disability, you do all you possibly can to help.

    “A little. But a walk, even for a couple hours, doesn’t erase the shame I feel all the time. I can’t seem to control the way I react to things, and the shame erodes me. Like acid.”

    Angela wished she knew someone who could help Matt, but she also wished she had someone to talk to herself. Worry about the future ate at her, and she wondered if Matt would ever be able to build a career, or get an education. In short, would he ever be able to take care of himself?

    The life they had together seemed to mostly entail putting out fires, per se. Matt was so volatile he often interrupted classes, or skipped them altogether. His grades were barely passing… or in some cases, not even that.

    One night, she realized he’d been quiet, and she walked through the house to find him. She found him sitting in a lawn chair in the garage, finishing off a bottle of wine. Her heart sank. Her child battled with disabilities, and now he was trying to manage his symptoms with something around the house.

    She knew he was self-medicating, but adding alcohol to the mix of everything else was just going to make his life, and hers, all the harder.

    Angela strode across the garage, gently but firmly picked up the almost empty bottle, and took it to the kitchen to pour out the rest. She then got the only other bottle of wine from the top shelf and carried it to her room, locked the door, and hid it deep in her closet.

    Then she walked calmly back to the garage, and suggested he go to bed. He was drunk, and any discussion now would only lead to disastrous results.

    “Mom, you know I can’t sleep. The reason I drank the wine was to help me sleep. I don’t know what else to do.”

    “Ok, Matt, but I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning. I hope you’ll be able to get some rest.”

    Angela went to her room and locked the door. She didn’t want to leave the opportunity for Matt to come in while she slept, in hopes of finding the extra wine. She got in bed, put her head on the pillow, and stared at the ceiling. She was exhausted.

    When your child struggles with a disability, no matter his age, you do all you can to help.

    The challenges of daily life with him were overwhelming, but what would become of him after she’s gone?  She wouldn’t live forever. How on earth could she help him find better psychiatric care, better management of his symptoms? And how would he manage in the world without someone to drive him around, guide him, protect him from himself and others? A child who battles with special needs is heartbreaking for a parent.

    Her stomach twisted in a knot as she thought about it. In fact, she remained twisted up most of the time. Loving him took all of herself. If only she had money, so she could set up a trust for his care. But that wasn’t a possibility. She feared he’d drink too much and commit a crime no one could prevent. That he’d end up in prison, blind, volatile, and angry.

    What would other prisoners do to him?  

    His condition wasn’t his fault.

    But he’d be held accountable for anything he did that might not be lawful. When he was having one of his episodes, there was no telling what sort of trouble he might get himself into.

    Her mind sped in spiraling circles. She had no solutions.

    Fear rose up in her and threatened to make her throat close. She was terrified for her son.

    She talked to her friend, Cherie, about her fears, and Cherie searched her face.

    A mom's child who struggles with a disability causes great stress for the mom.

    “Angela,” she said. “You look terrible. All this is taking a tremendous toll on you. You’re a wonderful mom. But you have to accept that the health problems Matt has are not something you could have prevented, or that you can control. You honestly need to take care of you, for a change.  

    “You probably don’t realize it, but the stress of Matt’s problems is wearing you down with worry. Angie, you need to find a way to take a break from it. In fact, I would seriously suggest you talk to a psychiatrist for your own needs. Do you realize how beat up you are emotionally?  How much damage all this worry and anxiety can do to you?”

    Angela hadn’t thought about that. She was always just putting one foot in front of the other, pushing through the current crisis. Her child who battled with special needs seemed to need everything she had to give.

    Cherie dug in her purse and pulled out a card, which she handed to Angela.

    “This is a psychiatrist I’ve heard wonderful things about. Why don’t you call and see if you can get an appointment?  Maybe he can help.”

    Angela thought a lot about her conversation with Cherie. She finally picked up the card and made the call. An appointment was arranged for the following week.

    When Angela met with the doctor, they talked non-stop for nearly an hour. After listening intently to her, she explained that she had been living in so much stress for so many years, and had developed generalized anxiety disorder. She gave Angela a card to a facility that offered day supervision for people like Matt so their caregivers could get a break. She also recommended that Angela seek ketamine treatment, as it could be effective for the kind of anxiety she had, the kind that had just crept into her pores.

    Since ketamine had been found to be so effective for restoring joy, hope, and resilience, it was a good match for Angela’s needs.

    Ketamine treatment pushed the “Reboot” button.

    IV ketamine treatment can relieve your worry and replace it with resilience.

    She signed up with the psychiatric practice her doctor recommended to receive ketamine. After 3 infusions, she began to feel less stressed and more optimistic. In all, she needed 7 infusions, and experienced something wonderful a few days after the last one. For lack of a better description, it felt to her like resilience…like when things went wrong, she could bounce back on her feet and keep going. Who knew?

    This resilience also helped her to have an optimistic outlook and to take each day as it came. Worry faded, and embracing the present became more natural. As a result, she learned to take each day as it came with Matt and he seemed to become a little more calm, too.

    It wasn’t that Angela’s treatments solved all her problems. It was that she had more capacity to work toward coping and seeking solutions, while also taking better care of herself.

    If your child battles with special needs of any kind and needs a great deal of your support, you may need someone to care for you, too.

    Does Angela’s situation strike a chord for you?  If so, call us.

    We’re here to help you find relief, joy, and resilience through ketamine treatment so you can face your days as your best self, with hope.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • Struggling to Get Your Life Going?

    Struggling to Get Your Life Going?

    When you're struggling to get your life going, the obstacles seem to pop up everywhere.

    Are you a young adult, say between 20 and 35 or so, and find it really hard to get out on your own? Maybe it’s been hard to do well in college, or to hold a job long enough to make real progress toward your independence and future. It can be daunting to know where to start, or start again, after feeling failure from your efforts time and time again. You’re not alone. The pandemic didn’t help. It seemed like it set a lot of people back. The declining economy, closed restaurants, universities reverting to online classes, making it necessary to live with your parents. Jobs fewer and farther between. When you’re struggling to get your life going, small bumps in the road can be like mountains blocking your progress.

    Maybe you feel more defeated with every blow, every setback. Until staying with your parents in your family home is just your natural default existence.

    Zach could sure relate to the way you may feel.  In his case, a series of events kept tripping him up, leaving him discouraged, humiliated, and feeling powerless. He was diagnosed with a chronic illness, Type 1 diabetes, when he was in first grade, and his childhood consisted of special diet, multiple blood sugars daily, occasional hospitalizations, and difficulty fighting infection.

    It seemed as though he’d be going along fine with school work, then he’d get sick again from the latest virus, miss a couple weeks of school, then work on makeup work to catch up what he missed.

    Over and over. 

    There was always pressure from school work, managing blood sugars, sickness, and makeup work.

    It was hard to find time to just relax and be a kid.

    And then life got harder.

    Dark days when you're struggling to get your life going and it doesn't work out.

    His parents’ marriage fell apart following his dad’s infidelity at the beginning of his senior year. He tried to hunker down and hold steady with his classes, but his grades slumped. 

    Then he just felt abandoned by his parents who were both in a chaotic tempest of anger, betrayal, humiliation, anxiety, and depression. Over the next couple years, he found himself hunkered in his mom’s house, which had always been home to him. Just holding a simple job seemed to be all he could manage. Struggling to get your life going can be an uphill, near impossible quest.

    He began to feel fundamentally flawed.

    The people he went to high school with were halfway through college now or had jobs on a career path. Zach became more and more reluctant to visit restaurants or other public places where he might run into them. His feelings of shame and failure covered him like a lead blanket.

    His mom worked to make ends meet. When she came home from work she was exhausted, bitter, and heartbroken. Zach avoided her. It had been 2 years since his dad left, and it was just too hard to continue being her sounding board.

    Zach hadn’t felt supported in years, and he was barely treading water himself. Managing his diabetes in terms of diet, blood sugars, insulin, and doctor appointments was all encompassing. Sometimes he let it slide, and then paid a big price. 

    His embarrassment about not going to college, and having a menial job…until he got laid off…made it too hard to face friends.

    Humiliation and shame can be crippling when you're struggling to get your life going.

    He heard about a job opening at the local auto parts store, and put in an application. He hoped it would give him a chance to excel over time and might be more rewarding than fast food preparation.

    Thankfully, he was hired for the job. Surely this could be a new beginning for him. It offered health insurance, which would be a huge help. He felt hope creeping up inside him for the first time in years.

    Zach really tried to make this job work. He was on time every day, and worked hard to learn the manuals, protocols and understand the organization of the store.

    By the time he’d been there 6 weeks, he was beginning to feel like he was doing a good job and proving himself a valuable employee. His struggling to get his life going just might be paying off. Then, he had to be admitted to the hospital for diabetic ketoacidosis, a condition that sometimes seemed to happen no matter how closely he managed his blood sugar.

    He was in ICU for 11 days, and his boss acted like he was skeptical about whether Zach was a good fit for his store.

    Then a month later, COVID happened. His boss laid him off, as he could only support a skeleton crew for the store.

    And once again, Zach’s hope was crushed.

    Zach looked for ways to make income online.  He tried one thing and then another. But nothing really panned out.

    As weeks turned into months, and months gave way to years, he began to realize he may never succeed at anything. He tried to help his mom out by cooking a meal now and then, doing some laundry… using the vacuum every month or two.

    When you're struggling to get your life to work, it's very frustrating.

    But the longer he stayed home, the less motivation he had to change his life.  He just kept trying to get through the days. He read books, watched TV, and posted on Facebook. But he just lost his gumption to get out of the house. He lost confidence that he could accomplish anything.

    Eventually he made some online friends and stayed in touch with them. He could be anonymous but feel some sort of connection.

    Still, it didn’t change the fact that his self respect was shot. 

    Zach so wished he knew how to turn his life around from struggling to get it going.

    After 2 1/2 years of the pandemic, the world seemed to be opening up and he decided to find some way of improving his life.

    He called the boss at the auto parts store to see if he’d hire him again. Nothing came of that.

    So he started researching. His symptoms, his disappointments, his failures.

    It looked like — from what he learned — that he might actually be depressed.  

    That had never occurred to him.  He’d just felt so ashamed. But apparently he wasn’t alone in his struggle to get his life on track. He researched his symptoms of poor motivation, feeling defeated, always struggling with his health, things happening beyond his control, the stress of his chronic illness, trying to hold a job only to be let go due to hospitalization, and on and on.

    He found out he could get help with psychotherapy and possibly even more with ketamine treatment. 

    Researching for answers when you struggle to get your life on track can help.

    It was an eye opener to consider that his feeling of failure was more likely deep and persistent depression.

    Was he really struggling to get his life going, or was he too depressed to succeed?

    And that maybe, just maybe, with therapy and treatment he could still gain the ability and skills to build a life.

    Zach talked to his dad for help with payment and he agreed to help. Zach wanted so much to break out of his “stuck” place in life and build some kind of life he could be proud of. After reading up on psychotherapists in his area, as well as ketamine treatment, he called and scheduled treatment.

    When you struggle to get your life going, ketamine treatment and psychotherapy can help.

    Zach had read that there were better outcomes when ketamine treatment and psychotherapy were scheduled in conjunction with each other, so he began therapy, then began to incorporate ketamine infusions. After about 5 infusions, he began to notice changes in his outlook. As they moved forward with infusions and therapy sessions, Zach realized his hope was growing. His courage to reach out for job interviews grew. Finally, he realized he wanted to go to school and study to be a therapist himself.

    So he enrolled in the local university and, with his parents’ help, he took a full load to help him earn his degrees sooner.

    With the help of ketamine treatment and psychotherapy, Zach laid a new foundation for building his life. The struggle to get his life moving had become more manageable. He decided he was just a late bloomer, and felt deeply grateful for the changes he was able to make, the better footing he established, and that he completed his degree in 3 years. Years that would have just been more hanging out at home without the treatment he had received.

    What about you?

    Do you feel like you’ve been stuck? Has it felt like you were thwarted at every turn as you tried to build a life for yourself? Did the pandemic make it all that much harder?

    If Zach’s story sounds familiar and you’ve been unable to get on track in your life, call us.

    Ketamine treatment may give you the boost you need to overcome depression and anxiety, and invest yourself in your future.

    We’re here to help you get better and experience the hope to change your life.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • When Aging Parents Need Your Help, Who Will Help YOU?

    When Aging Parents Need Your Help, Who Will Help YOU?

    When your aging parents need your help, it can take a toll on you as caregiver.

    When you google “top 5 stressors for marriage,” you get a lot more than 5 stressors. Things like finances, a new job, moving, in-laws, children, health crisis, poor communication, and major changes are just a few. But when you combine in-laws, health crisis, finances, moving, and major changes into one avalanche, like moving an aging parent into your home, the stress and impact can be crushing. Tom and Jannette knew this first hand. They’d been married 17 years, their children were teens, and they had a pretty full life. Until Tom’s mom seemed to be growing less steady on her feet, and displaying some confusion. When aging parents need your help, you do what you need to do. But who will help you?

    Tom’s dad had died 6 years before after a sudden heart attack, and his mom had been doing ok trying to get through her grief and rebuild her life. Then the confusion started. And after that, she had a couple falls. So, Tom and Janette began to worry about her in a real way.

    It wasn’t like their life was relaxed or leisurely.

    With 3 teenaged children they were always on the go. Attending parent teacher meetings, soccer practices (and games on weekends),  gymnastics, church, and choir practice. Plus both Tom and Janette worked, and the kids had school projects and daily homework. Their lives were full to the brim.

    When your aging parent needs your help, your presence can transform their life.

    But when Gran started falling, they realized they had to do something to help her and keep her safe. They couldn’t afford a nursing facility, and she had always been adamant she’d never want to live in a place like that…she insisted she’d die of loneliness. So they cleaned out the guest room, and moved her in. Aging parents need your help sometimes. You can’t ignore it. After all the love they’ve given you, you feel like you have to find a way to help.

    Within the first couple weeks, they noticed things about Gran they hadn’t seen before. They probably hadn’t been around her enough to realize it, but she was showing signs of more confusion than they expected.

    She would wake up in the morning and put on her clothes over her pajamas. They soon realized they needed to help her dress. A few months later, after they helped her dress she would take everything back off. By that time she started losing control of her body functions and required a diaper.

    They would empty the dishwasher only to find she had reloaded it with clean dishes.

    Then they’d notice the washer running, and look inside to find it stuffed with her clean clothes.

    Their full-to-the-brim life reached a pinnacle of overwhelming and crushing futility. The simplest routine task became ten times harder, more complicated, and time consuming. Jannette often reached a point of tears, as she plodded through her responsibilities. Tom was doing his best to help with everything, but his efforts continued to fall short, too. With the changes they’d made since Gran moved in, it was becoming harder and harder to make ends meet. But when aging parents need your help, you give it.

    Getting the kids to their various activities was overwhelming. Gran had begun slipping out of the house when no one was looking, and had gotten lost once. It required the help of the police department to find her and bring her home. So to keep her safe, she could not be left alone — ever. 

    The result was that they bundled her up in the car every time they left, ran an errand, or took kids to their activities. More time. More arguments.

    Jannette grew more and more run down, exhausted, and hopeless. She was doing the best she could to keep the family functioning — and her mother-in-law safe — but it never seemed to be enough. She cut back on her hours at work to try to accommodate the needs at home. Less money now.

    Futility. Overwhelming futility.

    Aging parents often reach the point they need help, but giving it can take a toll on you.

    Jannette felt like she was drowning. 

    When she saw she just couldn’t seem to get up anymore and do what she needed to do, she saw her doctor to see if he could help. It wasn’t hard for him to connect the dots after listening to her story, and realize she needed to see a psychiatrist. She was in crisis and treatment was necessary.

    He referred her to a psychiatrist he trusted, who brought her in for an appointment the next day. They talked about her situation at home, about her kids’ lives, and about her mother-in-law’s pressing needs. She asked her if she ever thought about ending her life.

    She looked her in the eye…held her gaze.

    “Yes.”

    She explained stress, and the damage it can do when you’re under the kind of intense stress that doesn’t let up. How it can lead to compelling, overwhelming suicidal thoughts. And how ketamine treatment can stop those thoughts to give you the freedom to seek treatment, and give you the time you need to get better, without the life-threatening thoughts.

    They agreed to begin infusions the next day. Jannette didn’t know what to expect but so hoped this would help.

    Then, Jannette realized the following afternoon that she hadn’t thought about dying all day.

    She went back for another infusion that week and realized she wasn’t thinking about, or visualizing, herself dying like she had been…so many times every day she couldn’t count them.

    But she also noticed something else. There was a sort of lifting inside her… an elevation where her heart was… she wondered if it was the beginning of hope…

    A sad aging parents may need your help when health and lucidity fail.

    As a result of her treatment, she was able to talk with Tom about what she’d been going through. They realized that as much as they loved Gran, they had to find a different solution.

    In going through her papers, they found she had provisions for long term care that would help pay for her to be admitted to a memory care facility, so she could be kept safe. She would have support, and would eat nutritionally balanced meals, and they could visit her often.

    They faced that Gran’s needs combined with the needs of the family were too great a cost for Jannette, so they set out to make hard decisions, and follow through with changes, that would help Jannette get strong and healthy again. 

    Sometimes you can have the best intentions, but the cost can be too high.   

    Their oldest child, Jason, had a driver’s license now, so the family sat down to make a schedule that would lighten the load on Jannette. They scheduled 3 visits a week with Gran at her new home. One visit to be made by Tom on the weekend, one made by Jannette on Tuesdays, and one by their son Jason with his sister Chelsi on Thursdays. When your aging parents need your help, you find ways to give it. This schedule gave Gran lots of family contact, while allowing their son to participate in activities of his senior year, and allowing Jannette some down time. 

    Jason would take Chelsi and their sister Heidi to gymnastics, cheerleading practice, and choir.  

    Within a month or two, the family’s life began to calm down, and become more rewarding, while allowing the time and freedom for healing, and peaceful contemplation occasionally.

    After Jannette’s ketamine infusions were completed, she found she was feeling better and better, as time went by.  She received 7 infusions in all, and began seeing a therapist, too, to help her make progress more efficiently. She also read that she could progress more effectively if she really invested her effort when she had the urge to do something productive or to show care for herself.

    All the steps she took were working together to help her improve.

    When your aging parent needs your help, it can bring joy to your whole family.

    Jannette experienced hope seeping in, and over time, she got her feet under her again.

    She began to visit Gran on the weekend with Tom. They noticed Gran was sometimes not recognizing them, but they did their best to make her feel loved, and they would do that going forward. When your aging parent needs your help, there is a way to help if you look for it.

    Tom told Jannette that he was sorry she had gotten so run down before they took steps to support her. She explained that she was thankful that while Gran was still lucid they could keep her in the heart of their family. And yet…she was so thankful they had an alternative when it got to be too much.

    If you have been helping a family member, and are experiencing burnout, or the symptoms of major depression and/or suicidal thoughts, and if nothing has helped…call us.

    We understand how hard it can be to overcome the stress of a difficult life, and overcome the exhaustion…and depression.

    Sometimes a caretaker has to take a time out to restore and heal. And sometimes they need more than that.

    We specialize in providing ketamine treatment, and are here to help.

    May 2023 be a year of new beginnings for you and those you love.

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

  • Sometimes You Just Need a Full Life Makeover, Right?

    Sometimes You Just Need a Full Life Makeover, Right?

    A full life makeover can restore a home or restore your hope.

    A ramshackle two-story house leans in the distance, behind a rusty, crooked gate. Passersby hardly notice it anymore…it’s just become part of the landscape. But when an investor looks at it, he sees the potential. A life makeover for that house is called for. He buys the property and sends in designers and remodeling crews. With tender care, workers replace damaged and rotting beams and roof shingles, upgrade the 3 grand fireplaces, and turn the kitchen into a gourmet’s haven. Wood working and carvings are stripped, stained, and polished, and floors are restored to their gleaming origins. Rugs, furnishings, and lavish window treatments adorn every room, crowning the grand ol’ girl with the appeal of her former splendor. The house in the distance people had ignored… becomes the gem of the surrounding region. 

    This “life makeover” process can happen for people, too.

    Meet Regina.

    You can benefit from a full life makeover with ketamine treatment.

    In her twenties, she felt like she had her ducks in a row. She worked at an upwardly mobile job, her career was strong, she met with friends on most weekends and enjoyed their company. She worked out at the gym 4 times a week, managed her finances within her means, and planned for the future. All of this gave her a feeling of confidence about her life.

    Until the accident.

    Regina was on her way to the grocery store when an SUV flew through a stop sign and T-boned her car. Regina was rushed by ambulance to the hospital where she underwent two surgeries for her left arm and left leg. Thankfully most of the damage was to her limbs and ribs… and she only suffered a mild concussion to her head. It could have been so much worse.

    She had to take a leave of absence from work for her leg, arm, ribs and brain to heal. Regina found herself snacking, which she never did normally.  She did get physical therapy every day to get her leg and arm functioning again, but it wasn’t like working out at the gym. Her body became flabby, and she gained weight… a little here and a little there.

    The concussion made it hard to think clearly for awhile. Even after the swelling in her brain subsided, she still felt groggy and sluggish. With her pain, she just didn’t feel like doing more than she had to do.

    The whole experience interrupted her life.

    Her every-other-day workouts fell by the wayside, her income dropped. Regina felt herself sinking into listlessness. She was tired of trying so hard. Tired of working so hard in physical therapy. She missed the culture of her job, the friends, the activity, the energy.

    An injury can be the end, or it can be an opportunity for a life makeover.

    It took 3 surgeries to get her leg functional, and two for her arm. By the time she had healed from the surgeries, her ribs were doing better…hurting less.

    But her emotions weren’t keeping up. She also felt like she just couldn’t think anymore cognition. Regina, or Regi as her family called her, just couldn’t seem to think creatively anymore.  How could she go back to her job?  How could she compete?

    Her best friend, Quinn, made the observation that she was just not her usual self. That all this had taken a toll. Regi knew what she was referring to.  The dull, sluggish thoughts. Ugh. Where was the electric energy?  

    She had to admit, it was gone.

    How would she ever earn a living again?  How could she compete among her co-workers?

    Quinn suggested she talk to a therapist or even see a psychiatrist.

    All these sounded like big steps — and extreme measures, but maybe these desperate times were calling for something extreme. Like a life makeover.

    Regi started by seeing a therapist who was highly recommended. They talked about how the fallout from the accident had led her to here: out of shape, weak on her feet, low on energy, embarrassed about her appearance, and deeply discouraged about who she was. She struggled about her lack of energy, lack of creativity, lack of sharpness and that sense of leadership she felt she had lost.

    Her therapist Mika asked her what she felt she could control.

    A life makeover requires more than physical exercise.

    Regi thought for a few. “Not the accident. I had no control over that. But I can do something about my weight and energy by working out again. I don’t have the mental energy for the life I used to have but maybe if I could start to work out, the stamina will return.”

    Mika thought that was astute and insightful and said so. “I also encourage you to see someone about IV ketamine treatment.  Here’s the card for a practice I really trust. You may need to try a couple antidepressants first to see if they’ll help. But if they don’t, IV ketamine treatment may make a real difference.

    “It’s fair to say that your life took a wrecking ball when that SUV crashed into you all those months ago. That accident didn’t just hurt your arm or leg or ribs. It wrecked the fabric of your life… everything that you relied on to function in this world.

    It is what it is…but you’re now on the threshold of reinventing your life. You could do a full-on life makeover. And well you should. You need just the type of makeover that will infuse new energy and direction into your soul.  Clarity and creativity into your thinking. And hope.”

    Regi thought about it and realized that was exactly what she needed. A makeover.

    The next morning she called the psychiatrist on the card, and made an appointment with her to talk about —everything. And she did. She wanted to know about IV ketamine treatment vs. antidepressants. The psychiatrist asked if she’d ever taken other antidepressants. Regi said no, not recently, but she had taken a couple different ones the previous year when the pandemic had started.

    “Did they help?”

    The comfort of a friend or therapist can help your life makeover thrive.

    “Not really. After a few months on each one, I just stopped taking them. Eventually I just got better on my own, I guess.”

    “OK,” the doctor replied. “Since you’ve been failed by two antidepressants, it’s probably a good idea to try IV ketamine treatment and see what it can do for you. That past experience may indicate you could have had “treatment resistant” depressive episodes.”

    They agreed to start ketamine infusions.

    Exercise and meditatiion can help with a life makeover, but it's not enough without ketamine treatment.

    During and after the first 4 infusions, Regi felt no different. She worried that if she was “treatment resistant” she would be resistant to this treatment, too. (She didn’t understand that she wasn’t treatment resistant, the depression was.) Then after the 5th infusion, she cried and wept all afternoon. That left her feeling relieved, and lighter. 

    “Hmmm…” she thought.

    The next day she felt better, and laughed easily. Another surprise. She asked the doctor if crying was part of the ketamine experience. 

    And her doctor responded softly, “Every brain is unique. Your life experiences are unique to you. Some people laugh, some cry, some giggle, some have vivid dreams, some feel floaty, some feel like they’re in outer space during the infusion. Some notice changes afterwards deep within themselves. Let’s consider that weeping was something you needed and ketamine treatment helped.

    “As you work on your ‘life makeover’ you may find there are some things that you want to incorporate, and some that you just need to shed…like in the makeover of a beautiful home. This is so much more than a house. It’s your personhood — without depression, the restoration of your best self. As you invest in various things important to you, those things will find their place in who you are.”

    Your life makeover is a chance to open your heart to new perspectives and hope.

    “That’s a whole new way of looking at myself, my future…even my hope,” Regi said. “I guess I expected the depression to just lift and disappear… and maybe it does for some people. But I can see the value in rebuilding myself with more love, more acceptance, more hope, and with an appreciation for my own gifts. I hope ketamine treatment will help me do that.

    “What a revelation it all is.”

    Regi continued until she’d had 8 infusions. It was getting close to Christmas and this was a good time to stop. By that time she was feeling some hope, and some calmness, and some wellbeing. She had the feeling the good emotions would continue to grow for awhile, especially as she continued to work with her therapist and her makeover. 

    It was empowering to consider that Regi had some role in all this. That looking for ways to establish and grow her “makeover” while she was also going to physical therapy and working out in the gym were all parts of the remaking of her as a whole person.

    A life makeover can give you a new beginning to celebrate your life.

    Within a few weeks, Regi was thinking much more clearly, and getting lots of creative ideas. Her outlook was bright again, and she decided it was time to go back to work. The new year had begun. What a perfect time to roll out her new best self!

    As she attended her first meeting after so many months, she realized she was ready to be in this electric and energetic environment again. She seemed to hit the ground running, in spite of having been out of the loop for months. 

    Regi felt like her old self, only better.

    Does the makeover of a new house — or a new life — sound like what you need? Have you had some blows and long term stress that seemed to wear down the life that worked so well in the past?

    If you’re having symptoms of depression and anxiety, and a life that isn’t holding together anymore, and especially if nothing else has helped, call us.

    Let’s team together to help you get your life functioning again. 

    It thrills us to share in the process of helping you find your best self, and participate in your own life makeover…if that’s what you need.

    We’re here to help.

    Wishing You and Yours Joy, Health, Love, and Loads of Hope in 2023!

    Lori Calabrese, M.D. is on the front end of the race to stop PTSD in its tracks using IV ketamine treatment.

    To the restoration of your best self,

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