Category: Families in Crisis

Articles About Family Trauma and Families in Crisis by Dr. Lori Calabrese

When one member of a family is hurting, everyone hurts, be it mother, father, son, or daughter. Whether the suffering is from a physical injury, a psychological one, a catastrophic illness, or psychiatric disorder, when one family member is in pain, it impacts the whole family. Family trauma is trauma that affects the entire family unit and can pass through multiple generations.

Psychiatric Disorders Often Run in Families

Unfortunately, we often find that psychiatric disorders can run in families, because of genetic links and environmental factors. As such, there is often more than one family member who struggles with his or her own pain, confusion, and other symptoms. Like dominoes falling in succession, the symptoms of one family member can trigger symptoms in others.

Adding to the tumultuous atmosphere that can develop when family members are ill, who is to take care of those who are hurting? Who is to find help or treatment?

Parents or Other Caregivers Can Succumb to the Stress

Sometimes caregiving lands on the shoulders of tone or both of the parents, and sometimes it lands squarely on one or more children. In other cases, caregiving may be provided by other relatives, or even those outside the family. But, it’s important to understand that whoever carries these responsibilities can become overwhelmed, exhausted, and depleted, and may also develop symptoms as a result.

The longer the symptoms persist in those affected, the greater the toll they take on the patient and on those trying to provide support, as well.

Thankfully, the symptoms of illness like depression, anxiety, addiction, PTSD, OCD, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, and more can be treated and relieved. And when relief comes to each person, peace is restored to his or her life. Healing and restoration can then come to the family as a whole. Family trauma and generational trauma are important pieces of context to understand in every individuals healing journey.

Read these blog posts to learn more, and let us know how we can help in your family.

Family in Crisis? Ketamine Treatment Now Can Restore Peace

Dean and Nicole stared at each other like deer in the headlights. Their kids’ behavior shocked them…again. Where was this coming from? Caden screamed at his sister, throwing a vase at her, which hit the wall and shattered. Emma, his 14 year-old sister, ran to her room, slammed the door, and locked it. Again. There was so much turmoil — and neither Dean nor Nicole had grown up in volatile households. They didn’t know what to do with all this. They’d always enjoyed a peaceful, supportive family atmosphere, till now. Well, looking back, conflict and dysfunction had slowly crept in over the past 3 years, but it was getting way out of hand. Nicole had come into Emma’s room a few weeks ago, and found her cutting her ankles… just above the hem of her jeans, where no one could see. Nicole had never seen anything like it. Several parallel lines of blood on each ankle. When she asked Emma what she was doing, Emma just shrugged. She shared the disturbing scene with Dean later that night. They were a family in crisis — and they hadn’t seen it coming.

At the same time, Caden seemed to be having more and more frequent meltdowns, without any obvious provocation.

He was deeply depressed when he was 13, and now it seemed he was going into depression again. But these volatile outbursts from time to time didn’t fit a pattern they understood. Clearly, their family was in crisis, and they didn’t know what to do about it.

Different Symptoms in Different Family Members

They had always had a healthy structure in their family, and their 12 year-old daughter Ashley had responded well to it, excelling at school, making friends, and enjoying outings with them. But as Caden and Emma each hit puberty, their emotions seemed to swing more and more out of control.

Caden pushed against boundaries, sometimes broke curfew, and was not that willing to follow through on his responsibilities. They tried a variety of consequences in search for a more effective method, but grounding him didn’t change his behavior much.

Sometimes he did productive things, like experiment with recipes, tinker in the garage with woodworking — but other times he just lay in bed and slept long hours when he was too depressed to be creative.

And once he was no longer grounded, he was back to his same old habits.

Emma, on the other hand, caused possibly even more concern. She seemed to withdraw into herself, with very little to say most of the time, or closed up in her room.

Oh, she complied with rules… like making her bed, dusting the living room, and helping with the dishes. But she was listless, emotionally flat. And kept to herself.

She’d been a lively child, full of fun and energy. When she’d walked into a room, it was as if sunshine had come with her. But now she only wore dark colors. She chose her words carefully. And she avoided bathing. Her hair looked dirty. Emma’s and Caden’s struggles put the whole family in crisis.

It Was As If She Was Mourning…

After years of working so hard to help all three of her kids cope with life, Nicole began to succumb to a slump. The daily strain of almost willing Emma and Caden to get up each morning and face school, making sure they ate, driving them to school and pushing them to screw up their courage and get out of the car to walk into school…making sure they did their homework in the afternoons, asking them to just pick up or help with the dishes…on and on and on.
It was exhausting.

Always trying to help Ashley feel supported in the midst of the turmoil with Caden and Emma wasn’t easy, but Nicole was determined to try to protect Ashley from it all— she didn’t want her damaged by what she was seeing at home.

Mom Grows More Drained and Exhausted

Nicole became more and more weary, with each passing month, but she forged on.

Until Caden’s frequent meltdowns took such a toll on her. Now, she was having trouble snapping back.

Tragedy Strikes

Then, a terrifying turn of events became almost too much.

As Nicole stopped in each of the kids’ rooms before she and Dean went to bed, she discovered an empty bottle of sleep aid pills and a partial glass of water beside Emma’s bed. She tried to wake Emma, but she didn’t respond.

She called 911 then shouted to her husband. Emma was limp as Dean kept trying to pick her up, shake her, and shout to make Emma hear him. Soon, Caden and Ashley ran into the room.

After following the ambulance to the hospital, waiting for Emma’s stomach to be pumped, hoping beyond hope that she would recover, and crying together for Emma’s apparent despair, a doctor came to talk to them.

He asked if this had happened before and they assured him it had not. Then he asked if they knew she was cutting herself. Nicole expressed she had just discovered it a couple weeks ago. “Do you think the cutting is connected to her taking the pills tonight?” Dean asked.

“Yes, I think it may be. It’s hospital policy to admit patients for 72 hours who have attempted suicide, then to re-evaluate. So we’re going to admit her once she’s alert and stable.

“Have you seen any psychiatric symptoms in any other members of your family? Possibly behavioral problems, or depression, or severe anxiety?”

Psychiatric Illness Sometimes Runs in Families

Dean and Nicole looked at each other, realizing they had, but they hadn’t grasped what was going on.

“Yes I think so. Our son has had really volatile episodes periodically, and they’re getting to be more common. We try to help and to tighten his structure, but it doesn’t seem to do much to change things with him.

It’s all been a lot to manage for a few years, and I’ve been feeling more and more down. Discouraged. Somewhat hopeless.”

The doctor listened intently. Then, he pulled a writing pad out of his pocket and wrote down a website, then handed Nicole the slip of paper.

Family in Crisis

He said, “It sounds like your family is in a time of crisis. You need support. This is a great psychiatrist not too far from here. She uses advanced treatments for depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, bipolar depression, and suicidal thinking. Check out her website and see what you think. The treatment she offers might be a real help to your family.”

Dean and Nicole thanked him. They were stunned by all that had happened. Certainly, they tried to let all he said soak in. They decided, once Emma was out of the woods, to go home and look up this website and see what they could learn.

After Emma was awake, they spent a few minutes with her. She was sheepish, but they reassured her of their love and how glad they were that she had survived… so grateful they’d found her in time. They also assured her they wanted to do whatever was needed help her feel better about herself and her life.

Once they were home, they looked at the website recommended by the emergency doctor. Quickly, they both began exploring and reading. They read about depression and anxiety, how they could be caused by extreme stress, and novel advanced treatments for them. They also learned about bipolar depression, PTSD, OCD, and suicidal thinking.

There was a lot of information about ketamine therapy, and how much it helped. They could see that they were in no position to diagnose their family members, but they read enough to realize there were reasons for Caden’s and Emma’s behaviors, and there were treatments that could help.

In fact, they learned that Nicole was possibly getting depressed herself, from all the stress of her children’s problems and their family crises, and ketamine treatment could help her, too.

Hope Through Ketamine Therapy

As soon as Emma was out of the hospital, they made an appointment as a family to meet with this doctor. She diagnosed Emma with severe major depressive disorder, Caden with bipolar disorder, and agreed with Nicole that she was depressed, and ketamine could help. A lot.

The doctor also explained what ketamine therapy could do for suicidal thinking, and that many times it can stop those thoughts in an afternoon. In fact, this doctor had published a paper on her own data with patients in her practice.

They made appointments to begin infusions for Caden’s bipolar depression, for Emma’s depression and suicidal thoughts, and Nicole’s depression, too.

By the time Emma went for her second infusion, the suicidal thoughts had stopped.

So that crisis was averted. But she continued the infusions, twice a week for 5 more weeks, and her depression symptoms lifted more and more. She was feeling hope and resilience by the 10th infusion, and continued to improve in the weeks that followed.

Caden’s depression was lifting by the 5th infusion, and he was dramatically improved by the 9th. His behavior problems got much better over the following months. His hope, his self-respect, and his joy also improved greatly.

Of course, with the improvement in Caden and Emma, Nicole felt like the weight of the world had lifted from her shoulders, but her ketamine treatment relieved her stress and despair. She had a new spring in her step and new hope for herself and her family… and energy for life after she received 8 infusions in all.

A Reset in This Family’s Life

Three months later, Dean and Nicole agreed they couldn’t have imagined the improvement in their family that was ahead when they’d been so alarmed and stressed out. What a relief! The kids were getting along again, and the loving atmosphere they used to share seemed to be returning. Their family seemed to be past that horrific crisis, finally.

Of course, every family has its challenges, but they had seen enough hard and frightening times to know to appreciate these better days their family was enjoying.

In the following months, Emma needed a booster when her outlook began to sink again. But after that, her hope returned. Her parents were just so thankful there was something they could do to help her stability. And her joy.

She began to shop for new colorful clothes, cute sandals, and natural makeup. And she began to make new friends.

Psychiatric Disorders Often Run in Families

How is your family? When more than one family member is suffering, the pain and chaos can quadruple for everyone. If your family is in crisis, ketamine treatment can offer hope, peace, and resilience.

If you have a family member who has symptoms like Emma, Caden, or Nicole, call us.

The people you love can live rewarding and hopeful lives, and so can you.

It’s for families like yours that we get up every morning.

We want to help.

To the restoration of your best self,

November 27, 2023
What To Do When Letting Go Breaks Your Heart

“Kayle! Kaaaaaayle!! Are you home?” No answer. Beth called again, then ran upstairs to check his bedroom. She knocked on the closed door. “Kayle?” Silence. Beth opened his door, and there was Kayle, sound asleep. The room smelled like body odor, and his dirty clothes were piled on every surface, and hanging from every protrusion. It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Had he been asleep all day? “Kayle! Wake up!! It’s 4pm and you need to get up. Did you look for a job today? Were you up all night?” Kayle’s sloppy life style, lack of motivation, and self absorption was getting to her. She and Sean, Kayle’s dad, had reared him to be responsible and hard working, but it didn’t seem to work as well with Kayle as with the other two. They knew they needed to put their foot down. But little did they know, they were about to find out what to do when letting go breaks your heart.

Kayle’s older sisters were both good students, and worked at jobs while carrying a full load in college. But Kayle was the youngest, and the least motivated of the three. What was most upsetting was that he seemed to lack the moral fiber they had tried so hard to instill in their kids.

When Sean got home from work, Beth talked with him about Kayle.

“Whatever we’re doing with Kayle, it isn’t working. He seems to have gotten into a pattern of staying up all night and sleeping all day. He’s caught up in himself and his friends, without taking responsibility for his own life. I think we need to think about requiring him to pay rent or else get his own apartment. Something that will force him to get a job and take responsibility for himself. What do you think? Since he finished high school he seems to think he’s on a permanent vacation.”

“Whew Beth! What brought this on?”

“I got home at 4 this afternoon and he was sound asleep. Clearly he’d been asleep all day. He’s not building his own life…it’s worrying me to the bone! To make matters worse, he needs a shower and his room smells like he does. I seriously wonder what goes on at night while we’re sleeping…”

“Ok, ok Beth. I see what you mean. I’ve been so busy with work I hadn’t realized what he’d been up to. Let’s talk with him this weekend about his options.”

Beth and Sean went to bed… and at about 1:45 am the doorbell rang.

“What the heck..??” Sean picked up the bat he kept by the bed and headed downstairs to see who was at the door at this time of the night.

He opened the door to two police officers.

“Is something wrong? We didn’t call 911.”

One of the officers spoke up. “Is Kayle Jackson here?”

“Yes, he’s in bed. May I ask what this is about?”

“We need to speak with him please. Would you wake him up?”

“Yes, OK. Would you like to step inside?”

Sean let them into the entry hall, and went upstairs to wake Kayle. When he reached his room, he tapped on the door then opened it. No one was in Kayle’s bed. In fact, Kayle was nowhere to be seen. By now, Beth had donned her robe and met Sean in the hall. A slow dread creeped up the back of her neck…the feeling that they were about to find out what to do when you have to let go…and letting go breaks your heart.

“What’s going on?”

“The police are here and want to see Kayle. But he’s gone! No sign of him!”

Sean quickly returned downstairs and told the police that Kayle wasn’t in the house and he was supposed to be in bed.

One of the officers handed Sean a card, and asked him to call him immediately if he heard from him.

Sean and Beth couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. They made coffee and sat together in the living room. Their hearts were gripped with fear for Kayle, and they were also angry that he was up to something dishonorable…whatever it was.

As the light of dawn shone through the windows, they heard the kitchen door open and close. Footsteps padded through the house toward the stairway, then they saw him.

“Kayle?”

He stopped in his tracks and spun around to see them both sitting in the living room. Busted, he thought.

His dad asked, “Where have you been??”

“Just hanging out with friends.” Kayle shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Kayle, the police were here. They’re looking for you. What have you done??”

Kayle cleared his throat, then said, “I’m sure it’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it.” He turned to start up the stairs.

“Kayle Sumner Jackson! Don’t you dare blow us off. It IS a big deal when police come to the door at 2 am looking for you. I have the phone number they left and you need to call and find out what it’s about. You have a lot of explaining to do, and we have to talk about decisions that need to be made.”

“Dad..Mom…I am not going through this right now. I’m not going to let you intimidate me. I’m certainly not going to call them. Right now I’m going upstairs to go to bed. I’m no longer a kid, and I will make my own decisions.” With that, Kayle ran upstairs and slammed his bedroom door. Once again, the realization hit them that they were going to have to let go and letting go breaks your heart.

Sean and Beth fumed. Where did their son get the nerve to treat them so disrespectfully??

The doorbell rang. Again.

Sean answered the door to the same two officers. It was now 6:30am.

“Hello, Mr. Jackson, we followed Kayle here, and saw him enter your house from the back. May we come in? We need to take him into custody before he escapes again.”

“Yes, come in. But what is this about..?”

The officers told him they needed to speak directly to Kayle. They started up the stairs to find his room.

Sean and Beth heard them announce themselves and then heard some scuffling. Then Kayle and the two police officers started down the stairs with Kayle in handcuffs.

“Mr. Jackson, we’re placing your son under arrest.”

They walked out the front door, led Kayle to the patrol car, opened the back door and guided his head down into the car. After closing him into the back seat, they drove off.

Sean and Beth were speechless.

Stunned.

Something inside Beth snapped. Shattered.

What was happening to her son? Where did they go wrong? What would happen to Kayle? What would it be like for him in jail? All night long? And then what? This wasn’t likely to go away.

WHAT had he done??

Of course, they called their lawyer friend. Asked him to find out what Kayle was being charged with. What should happen next?

Beth felt like she was in a time warp. She couldn’t think, her heart felt like a stone in her chest. How could they have been so oblivious? Letting go was breaking her heart…

Days turned into weeks and revelations abounded. Kayle had been involved in selling prescription drugs to students. Where did he get them? How did this happen? As charges were filed, and he was arraigned, it became more and more clear that Kayle wasn’t the innocent but lazy kid they thought he was. He had been selling these drugs since he was in high school.

The police had too much evidence for the lawyer to make this go away. When they visited Kayle in jail, there was a hardness about him. He wasn’t sorry for breaking the law, just sick that he’d been caught.

Sean was angry.

A slow, hot, boiling rage burned inside him. Beth was heartbroken. She’d wanted to protect Kayle from anything like this ever happening. She’d tried to guide him when he seemed to be veering off during his teens. But apparently, he had connected with friends who influenced him to partake in activities that were illegal, and unfortunately he’d gotten away with it until he was breaking the law in a serious way.

Beth felt like she was walking in a gray sludge. She felt so crushed. So heart broken. She couldn’t separate her heart from her love for Kayle. She wished she could protect him. But Beth also felt furious, betrayed by him, and abandoned. How could he turn his back on all they stood for? He knew better.

It took weeks before she could cry. But one day she decided to clean his room, and gathered up his smelly laundry… and sat down and cried and cried. She poured out her heart, her loss, her fear, her disappointment.

After that, it was like she just went through the motions. Her emotions seemed dead. She felt hopeless. It felt as though Kayle was dead, except he wasn’t. He was still her baby, her youngest, and he was vulnerable in that jail with all those other criminals. She was just sick about it. Her sense of helplessness warred with her desire to protect her son and the recognition she needed to let him work out his own life, mistakes, and consequences. It was all unbearable to her. Letting go was painfully breaking her heart.

Kayle’s story was a blur. He was arrested, without remorse, faced trial, was convicted, and sentenced to 3 years in prison.

A few months after he went to prison, Sean sat down with Beth and talked with her about the need for her to let go, and try to live for her family and for herself. He reminded her that she had two more children besides Kayle, and a husband who loved her. He emphasized that as heartbroken as they both felt, Kayle had made a series of terrible decisions over a period of years. They both still loved him and would love him whether he was in prison, or free. He was their son.

Beth told him she just couldn’t function. She felt so dead inside. And she knew that grief contributed to it. But she had absolutely no energy to do anything or care about anything. She didn’t know how to find her real self again. She knew she loved her husband and family, but couldn’t seem to express it. Everyone saw it. Letting go of Kayle was breaking her heart.

“Beth, honey, I’ve been talking to our friend Ben. Since he’s a psychiatrist, I thought he might have some ideas to help us through this. He pointed out that my ongoing rage is probably a symptom of depression… that this isn’t uncommon in men. And he said you really sound depressed to him — though he couldn’t diagnose you without talking to you.

“He suggested IV ketamine treatment.

“He said it’s been providing extraordinary relief to people around the world who are depressed. Maybe that could be a possibility.”

Sean and Beth went together to the doctor Ben had recommended for a consultation. Even though their symptoms presented so differently, they were both candidates for IV ketamine treatment. A family friend drove them both to each treatment. After the second one, Sean noticed the anger that had consumed him seemed like it was dissolving. After the third treatment, Beth began to feel the stirring of some emotion.

They continued until they felt better. Sean received 8 treatments, and Beth received 10 plus a booster a month later.

By that time, they were both finding joy in daily living, laughing while they prepared dinner, talking freely again. Their letters to Kayle were much more upbeat and hopeful. And Kayle was sounding better and better. He was remorseful that he had not tried harder to build his life when he had the chance, and was turning a new leaf for his future. He planned to go to city college when he got out.

They hoped that was true, but knew only Kayle could make that happen. Still, they would support him if he did. They’d learned a lot about letting go and how it can break your heart.

In the meantime, Sean and Beth made an effort to visit the girls at school periodically, to keep their family close. They were just so relieved that they had the energy and motivation to do it.

Sometimes a family can seem shattered by a serious crisis.

Sometimes we need help to pull the family back together and re-establish purpose and connections.

A treatment like ketamine can put the tools for growth and healing back in your hands.

If the stress of a severe crisis has worn you down and you’re experiencing symptoms like Beth or Sean, call us.

Ketamine treatment isn’t for everyone. We evaluate you carefully to determine if you’re a candidate. And if you are, we can work with you to rediscover your best self. We can help you recover by showing you the steps you can take to be who you strive to be.

Give yourself the best advantage for a rewarding and fulfilling life.

To the restoration of your best self,

February 20, 2023
Your Family Can Help You or Hinder You in Being Your Best Self

When we think about family, what does your mind conjure? A mother, a father, and a few children? Or maybe a mother and children. Or a father and his brood. How you achieve being your best self is largely influenced by your family.

Maybe your experience with family is having two moms, or two dads. You might have a foster family with a mom and several children of various races with different backgrounds.

Or you just might have developed a family of your own by gathering people in need you’ve met, who need the support of family. Maybe you needed the presence of others who needed you, and found you needed them too.

Family can come in lots of shapes and sizes. A mother and a grandmother leading the brood, or a father and grandfather, like we see on the TV show, Blue Bloods. Fact is, it’s not about whether family members are related or not, it’s about people who feel a connection to each other, who may live together or not, but feel some sort of bond and mutual support that keeps them tied together. That bond can play an important part in your being your best self.

For those who have good family relationships, thoughts of family likely bring a sense of togetherness, laughter, and warmth. These are the people you can talk to about your problems and disappointments, and trust you’ll be heard without judgment.

They’re also the ones who will share your joys and triumphs.

Fundamentally, family has your back. Or at least it’s supposed to.

But, if you can’t relate to the warmth, laughter, and togetherness, you may have a family who doesn’t know how to function with support and lack of judgment. And if that’s the case, you may be suffering from wounds and scars from your family. And those can be hard to overcome and heal.

Family members in families like this are often scarred from being hurt by damaged people. It’s easy to see that in cases like this, your family might not be a strong influence in being your best self.

Family members who were treated harshly, or even abused, and who in turn, repeat those same behaviors with their loved ones. Because of their own scars, they may not be fully aware that their behavior toward people they love could be causing deep seated damage.

But for right now we’re focusing on you.

Mistreatment during your formative years can result in excessive anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicidal thoughts, as well as substance use disorders.

What about you? Is your family life full of joy, laughter, sharing, loving, and support..? Or is it a place you feel alienated and alone, defensive and afraid..? Or if you’re grown now, what are your memories like? Positive or hurtful? Maybe you feel anger and don’t know why.

It’s possible it started when you were too young to remember, or that you do remember the pain and you can’t figure out how to get over it.

Here’s the thing. It can be a lot of work to get the therapy you need to come to peace with your past traumas, but ketamine treatment can help resolve the symptoms and the fall-out. It can help you feel better, and by feeling better you can understand your feelings and even change them. If your family has hindered you in being your best self, ketamine can help.

How? Well, ketamine has the unique and mighty power of neuroplasticity. It helps the neurons in your brain to change, which helps you to change the way you see things. It’s effective in treating PTSD, treatment resistant depression and bipolar depression, and social anxiety, substance and alcohol use disorders, and suicidal thinking.

At Innovative Psychiatry we help people every week — who suffer from disorders like these — achieve remission with ketamine treatment. Your relationships with your family can be wonderful, or they can be extremely difficult. Sometimes, they’re a combination of both. But if you’ve been wounded, and scarred, ketamine treatment is something you can do to help you heal.

And when you come for treatment, we’ll take you to a private treatment room with a soothing atmosphere, so you can relax. We also have installed plasma cell technology to destroy all the bacteria, viruses, and mold in the room. You can rest assured that you’re safe from infection and can focus on your treatment…and getting better.

When you’ve lived with these painful symptoms for so long, you can’t imagine you can be free of them, it’s hard to imagine how some infusions can resolve your misery, but they often can.

We’ve been doing this for years, and we know that ketamine treatment isn’t for everyone. For some people It doesn’t work. For others, it doesn’t seem to work initially, then weeks later, remission sneaks up and takes over. In still other cases, symptoms dissipate after the first or second infusion. Ketamine response is different in different people, just as everyone is different, and everyone’s brain is unique.

But the bottom line is that you are likely to transformed by ketamine treatment.

If you suffer from symptoms that interfere with your life, call us.

We want you to get better. That’s what we’re about.

To the restoration of your best self,

May 15, 2022
Ketamine's Healing: Does Depression Run in Families?
Does depression run families?

I didn’t ask if it runs in families. Does it run your family?

Well, let me ask you this. Do you love someone who’s depressed … ?

I mean really depressed. Someone who’s been withdrawn, listless, drained, and nervous for months — or years… Maybe you hear how they wish they could die. Maybe you hear that often.

Have you helped your son, daughter, or spouse get to the doctor for treatment? It was hard for them to even just get out of bed, I bet. Really hard.

They grumbled … maybe slung harsh words at the obstacle of waking up, of getting out of bed. If they did, you probably felt annoyed with the abusive language, but you also knew their struggle was gargantuan. And you knew better than to say anything.

At the doctor, maybe you listened as they described how they felt. If they even let you in. They probably didn’t have much to say. Too shut down … or too angry.

When Treatment Doesn’t Help

After years of doctor visits, years of trying new medications one after the other … then 2 or 3 in combination … maybe none helped very much or for very long. Years of watching her — or him — stop taking meds because “they don’t work anyway.” You’ve likely fought your own despair about ever finding any real help for them.

You’ve probably wondered just how long one person can endure such hopelessness. And, if you’re human, you may have even secretly wished there was somewhere you could go for a vacation from it just to get away for a little while. But you put that secret thought aside, because what’s most important is finding relief for your son or your daughter or your spouse … or your sister … or your Mom.

Depression is a Problem of the Family – Not Just the Patient

You’ve watched phobias take over. Fear of answering the phone. Of going outside. Fear of driving and fear of crowded places. Even fear of eating.

It’s one thing to watch someone you love in pain for a day or a week. But when the years come and go and you’d give anything to see her enjoy herself, even for a little while … it becomes terribly hard to bear. Or to take her to dinner for her birthday and see that frozen look of dread in her face.

Searching the World for Someone Who Can Help

So you’ve researched, asked doctors and friends, read articles, scanned the internet, to find that one program, residential treatment, or miracle drug that could lift the lead blanket from the life of this one you love so much.

But…after a while, they all seem the same. Nothing seems to make a difference.

Then, you dig deeper. You see her desperation, and you worry about suicide risk, so you pull out the stops. She doesn’t want to hear about any more promises, so you subtly take sugar out of her diet…and dyes… plus salt… and add a plethora of nutrients like folate, vitamins, and anything else you read on the web.

Breakthrough Possibilities

You learn about new medications that are creating breakthroughs for others. But she says, “NO.” She’s jaded, has lost her confidence in treatment. She’s sullen and disillusioned. She’s tired.

Then one day, you’re sitting in the doctor’s waiting room with her, and you pick up a magazine. It says something about ketamine…for depression…

Hmmmm. Ketamine. Why does that ring a bell…? You think you’ve heard about it in the context of surgery. What was that? Something that helped a patient breathe…? No… You read the article…and your head explodes.

An anesthetic…? A street drug…? What on earth.

You get online and find out there have been all sorts of articles and studies written about this for years but you never noticed them. But now with determination, you start Googling.

Researching the Breakthrough

The scientific articles are too hard to understand, but you discover articles written about the science. In everyday language. You read and take notes. Read and take notes. Read more and take more notes.

And it dawns on you this is something you haven’t tried. And instead of just a third of patients finding some sort of help, you’re reading about 75-80% of patients not just getting help, but getting better. Symptom free. Really better.

(***If you’re reading this, and you haven’t shared the yoke with a beloved spouse or child who’s, this all may sound ludicrous to you. “…Hey, aren’t you just a little over-invested there…?”)

Depression is a problem of the family…

A serious chronic disease impacts the entire family. It’s not only the ill person who suffers. The symptoms affect everyone. Family gatherings are overshadowed by your family member’s reluctance to enter in, or to leave the house. Everyone carries the ache of this one’s suffering sadness. Everyone feels helpless — powerless — to offer relief.

Mood Disorders – Serious, Crippling Illnesses

Depression, specifically Major Depressive Disorder, is not a bad attitude, or laziness. It’s an illness caused by changes in brain structures and function. And depression is just one mood disorder. There are so many others just as crippling. OCD, PTSD, bipolar disorder, other anxiety disorders…

About 1/3 of depressed people are successfully treated by traditional antidepressants. For them, depression is treatable, and they’re able to live their lives in a meaningful way.

For another 1/3 who weren’t helped by their first round of antidepressants, a new medication or a combination “cocktail” of meds turns out to be effective.

But what about that other one-third?

The World Health Organization estimates 350 million people worldwide are depressed. That means 116 million people in the world are suffering all the pain of depression along with the anxiety that accompanies it, without help or relief. That’s more than 3 times the population of Tokyo, the largest city on earth. And for every person in that list, a family suffers with him.

Their loved one remains weighted by the lead blanket of depression and anxiety. Phobias, withdrawl, poor functioning socially and professionally, and despair. And their risk for suicide grows with every month, every year, they continue to suffer.

Until now.

Ketamine Relieves the Family by Making the Patient Better

Now there is, for the first time in the history of psychiatry, a medication that can stop suicidal thoughts within hours. Since suicidal thinking — and planning — often create an emergent situation needing life-saving intervention, time is of the essence.

And it’s safe.

Ketamine hydrochloride is a compound that was FDA-approved for anesthesia in 1964. It’s proven itself to be an effective and useful anesthesia medication for surgery and for managing pain in emergency situations for 50 years. Ketamine has also demonstrated its safety when used in appropriate doses for children, adolescents, and adults.

It was even included in the List of Essential Medications by the World Health Organization.

It’s demonstrated its safety as an anesthetic in all age groups for 50 years. In the last 15 years it has also emerged as an extraordinary drug for stopping suicidal thinking, and in treating many forms of depression and anxiety. Specifically, treatment-resistant mood disorders.

Ketamine has been proving itself in laboratories, studies, and private practices across the US and around the world as a rapid and robust antidepressant, when used in the tiny doses required for treatment of mood disorders.

WARNING: Use of Ketamine to Self-Medicate is DANGEROUS

While it’s true that ketamine, known on the street as Special K, has been abused and passed on the street as a hallucinogenic way to get high, the doses people in the drug scene use for tripping are much, much higher than the dose administered by psychiatrists in precise therapeutic infusions.

And those who abuse ketamine on the street use large doses, massive doses…and way, way too often. And…they can suffer serious side effects in the form of damage to their bodies that are irreversible. Like bleeding ulcers inside the bladder, kidney failure. Death.

Depression is a problem of the family, not just the patient.

We know that families need relief along with their loved one who suffers.

If you and your family have been prisoners in the war against major depression and anxiety, ketamine treatment for your family member can restore the rest of your family.

Ketamine Relieves Stress in the Family Caused by Psychiatric Mood Disorders

At Innovative Psychiatry, we’re dedicated to finding treatment for the sickest of the sick. Those who’ve trudged and bowed under the tyranny of psychiatric mood disorders. While we can’t accept more patients who need general psychiatric care, (we’re full!), we do want to talk to you if you’ve tried two or more medications or treatment combinations without success.

If treatment has been failing you up till now, call us. Helping people like you is our specialty.

Let’s schedule an appointment to determine whether you’re a good candidate for ketamine. While ketamine isn’t for everyone, it’s remarkably effective for 80% of people who have been failed by other traditional treatments.

And chances are it could be just what you need to restore your life — so you can enjoy meaning, productivity, and relationships you haven’t been able to for a long time.

To the emergence of your best self,

Lori Calabrese, M.D.
October 21, 2017

Category: Families in Crisis

Articles About Family Trauma and Families in Crisis by Dr. Lori Calabrese

Psychiatric Disorders Often Run in Families

Parents or Other Caregivers Can Succumb to the Stress

Family in Crisis? Ketamine Treatment Now Can Restore Peace

At the same time, Caden seemed to be having more and more frequent meltdowns, without any obvious provocation.

Different Symptoms in Different Family Members

Caden pushed against boundaries, sometimes broke curfew, and was not that willing to follow through on his responsibilities. They tried a variety of consequences in search for a more effective method, but grounding him didn’t change his behavior much.

Emma, on the other hand, caused possibly even more concern. She seemed to withdraw into herself, with very little to say most of the time, or closed up in her room.

It Was As If She Was Mourning…

Always trying to help Ashley feel supported in the midst of the turmoil with Caden and Emma wasn’t easy, but Nicole was determined to try to protect Ashley from it all— she didn’t want her damaged by what she was seeing at home.

Mom Grows More Drained and Exhausted

Tragedy Strikes

Then, a terrifying turn of events became almost too much.

She called 911 then shouted to her husband. Emma was limp as Dean kept trying to pick her up, shake her, and shout to make Emma hear him. Soon, Caden and Ashley ran into the room.

He asked if this had happened before and they assured him it had not. Then he asked if they knew she was cutting herself. Nicole expressed she had just discovered it a couple weeks ago. “Do you think the cutting is connected to her taking the pills tonight?” Dean asked.

“Have you seen any psychiatric symptoms in any other members of your family? Possibly behavioral problems, or depression, or severe anxiety?”

Psychiatric Illness Sometimes Runs in Families

“Yes I think so. Our son has had really volatile episodes periodically, and they’re getting to be more common. We try to help and to tighten his structure, but it doesn’t seem to do much to change things with him.

Family in Crisis

In fact, they learned that Nicole was possibly getting depressed herself, from all the stress of her children’s problems and their family crises, and ketamine treatment could help her, too.

Hope Through Ketamine Therapy

The doctor also explained what ketamine therapy could do for suicidal thinking, and that many times it can stop those thoughts in an afternoon. In fact, this doctor had published a paper on her own data with patients in her practice.

By the time Emma went for her second infusion, the suicidal thoughts had stopped.

Caden’s depression was lifting by the 5th infusion, and he was dramatically improved by the 9th. His behavior problems got much better over the following months. His hope, his self-respect, and his joy also improved greatly.

A Reset in This Family’s Life

Of course, every family has its challenges, but they had seen enough hard and frightening times to know to appreciate these better days their family was enjoying.

She began to shop for new colorful clothes, cute sandals, and natural makeup. And she began to make new friends.

Psychiatric Disorders Often Run in Families

The people you love can live rewarding and hopeful lives, and so can you.

What To Do When Letting Go Breaks Your Heart

Kayle’s older sisters were both good students, and worked at jobs while carrying a full load in college. But Kayle was the youngest, and the least motivated of the three. What was most upsetting was that he seemed to lack the moral fiber they had tried so hard to instill in their kids.

When Sean got home from work, Beth talked with him about Kayle.

“Whew Beth! What brought this on?”

Beth and Sean went to bed… and at about 1:45 am the doorbell rang.

One of the officers spoke up. “Is Kayle Jackson here?”

“What’s going on?”

Sean quickly returned downstairs and told the police that Kayle wasn’t in the house and he was supposed to be in bed.

Sean and Beth couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. They made coffee and sat together in the living room. Their hearts were gripped with fear for Kayle, and they were also angry that he was up to something dishonorable…whatever it was.

“Kayle?”

He stopped in his tracks and spun around to see them both sitting in the living room. Busted, he thought.

“Kayle, the police were here. They’re looking for you. What have you done??”

Sean and Beth fumed. Where did their son get the nerve to treat them so disrespectfully??

The doorbell rang. Again.

“Hello, Mr. Jackson, we followed Kayle here, and saw him enter your house from the back. May we come in? We need to take him into custody before he escapes again.”

The officers told him they needed to speak directly to Kayle. They started up the stairs to find his room.

“Mr. Jackson, we’re placing your son under arrest.”

Sean and Beth were speechless.

Something inside Beth snapped. Shattered.

Beth felt like she was in a time warp. She couldn’t think, her heart felt like a stone in her chest. How could they have been so oblivious? Letting go was breaking her heart…

Sean was angry.

It took weeks before she could cry. But one day she decided to clean his room, and gathered up his smelly laundry… and sat down and cried and cried. She poured out her heart, her loss, her fear, her disappointment.

Kayle’s story was a blur. He was arrested, without remorse, faced trial, was convicted, and sentenced to 3 years in prison.

“He suggested IV ketamine treatment.

“He said it’s been providing extraordinary relief to people around the world who are depressed. Maybe that could be a possibility.”

They continued until they felt better. Sean received 8 treatments, and Beth received 10 plus a booster a month later.

They hoped that was true, but knew only Kayle could make that happen. Still, they would support him if he did. They’d learned a lot about letting go and how it can break your heart.

Sometimes we need help to pull the family back together and re-establish purpose and connections.

A treatment like ketamine can put the tools for growth and healing back in your hands.

Your Family Can Help You or Hinder You in Being Your Best Self

Maybe your experience with family is having two moms, or two dads. You might have a foster family with a mom and several children of various races with different backgrounds.

Fundamentally, family has your back. Or at least it’s supposed to.

But, if you can’t relate to the warmth, laughter, and togetherness, you may have a family who doesn’t know how to function with support and lack of judgment. And if that’s the case, you may be suffering from wounds and scars from your family. And those can be hard to overcome and heal.

Family members who were treated harshly, or even abused, and who in turn, repeat those same behaviors with their loved ones. Because of their own scars, they may not be fully aware that their behavior toward people they love could be causing deep seated damage.

Mistreatment during your formative years can result in excessive anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicidal thoughts, as well as substance use disorders.

What about you? Is your family life full of joy, laughter, sharing, loving, and support..? Or is it a place you feel alienated and alone, defensive and afraid..? Or if you’re grown now, what are your memories like? Positive or hurtful? Maybe you feel anger and don’t know why.

But the bottom line is that you are likely to transformed by ketamine treatment.

Ketamine's Healing: Does Depression Run in Families?

Does depression run families?

When Treatment Doesn’t Help

Depression is a Problem of the Family – Not Just the Patient

Searching the World for Someone Who Can Help

Breakthrough Possibilities

Researching the Breakthrough

(***If you’re reading this, and you haven’t shared the yoke with a beloved spouse or child who’s, this all may sound ludicrous to you. “…Hey, aren’t you just a little over-invested there…?”)

Depression is a problem of the family…

Mood Disorders – Serious, Crippling Illnesses

And it’s safe.

WARNING: Use of Ketamine to Self-Medicate is DANGEROUS

Depression is a problem of the family, not just the patient.