We talked about the difference between living with bipolar 2 and bipolar II disorder.
The latter is actually the correct name for this difficult disorder, but the first one is the popular name all over the web…affectionately adopted maybe because II sounds like 2. So in the spirit of community — and flexibility! — today we’ll talk about what it’s like to live with someone with bipolar 2.
Have you ever lived with someone in your family who’s so ill that the rest of the family just hangs on and survives? Someone who’s so ill that the parents’ attention is all sucked up by that one’s needs..? Maybe your sister needs help with math, or your brother needs support for his science project. Maybe you need to give your speech tonight to someone who will listen before you give it for a grade tomorrow.
There are lots of types of illnesses. Some families have a person who’s fighting cancer, or heart disease. Others have a family member who is in a wheelchair, or in chronic pain, or is losing their memory. All of these families are challenged, and everyone has to make sacrifices.
Trauma Can Occur When You Live With Someone With Bipolar 2
But in a family that’s living with bipolar 2, there’s another atmosphere. It’s like walking on eggshells. The sacrifices are somewhat different. They can even be somewhat traumatic.
For someone with bipolar 2, the pain is not in their feet, or their back…it’s in their emotions. Think about what your home would be like if one person in your family was as angry as you’ve been when you were your angriest. Or as sad as you’ve been when you were your saddest. Or even sadder. And they feel like that…not for a day or a week but almost all the time.
Then, think about the happiest moment you’ve ever had, multiply it by ten, or 50, and that’s how happy this family member is sometimes …until he gets ANGRY. (Or until he becomes sad.) Like too happy…too jovial. Scary happy.
It can be overwhelming for him — and also for you.
Because someone living with bipolar 2 can change from one extreme of emotion to another in a short time. (If he changes from happy and energetic to depressed and sluggish and hopeless (and back again) at least four times in a year, he’s got rapid cycling. And some rapid cyclers make that swift change in a day. Talk about a roller coaster…)
Some people with bipolar 2 may be depressed for a year or more before they come out of the depression and feel energetic and joyful again. The depressions are long, awful… terrible really. But a family member who is always down, as bad as you feel for him, is hard to be around.
That’s just the hard truth.
At the same time, someone who is always upbeat, acting silly, making jokes, talking over everyone else, can also be tiring to be around… eventually.
And again, your parents are often absorbed with that same family member, giving all they know to give… and too drained and tired to listen to your speech, or help with the science fair, when things finally calm down at 3 am.
If you’re the parent living with bipolar 2 in the family, you have a heavier load than you ever dreamed you would. Because you live with the weight of all the bills, the dishwasher that needs repair, the yard that’s becoming overgrown, and the letter from the Homeowners’ Association threatening to fine you if you don’t get your house painted…. while you’re stumbling around without having slept. Exhausted isn’t even the word.
You have to work, but during your work day, you get a call from the school that your child with bipolar 2 has had a meltdown in class because a student made a cutting remark. You KNOW you need to help one child with his science fair project, and help another with her math, while you also try to soothe the child with bipolar 2 and help him face natural consequences.
Trouble is, he’s so sensitive. His sense of worth is in the toilet and it’s so tough to help build it back up. To help him accomplish things he can be proud of. He’s so capable and intelligent, but sabotages himself without realizing it.
And one of his worst triggers? Being put down by a friend.
Oh, and there’s still that science fair. So at 1am, your middle son’s helping you help your youngest put together his science fair project. Right. Your brother waited patiently for three days for help, but it wasn’t possible. So the family pitches in to be sure he has something to show.
When you live with bipolar 2 in the family, you’re not trying to help your little brother win, you’re all just trying to spare him of the humiliation of having nothing, getting a zero, and standing out like a sore thumb.
Then you get up in the morning to get ready for school. And your older brother just lays there, staring at the wall. When mom wakes everyone up, he doesn’t move. He just says, “I can’t.”
And then, when you get home from school, and you’re eager to tell mom about your speech, you can hear her speaking softly to your big brother in his bedroom. And your brother is yelling. About how he can’t face school. And how tired he is of feeling this way. And how he wants to die.
To DIE??? Your brother wants to die?? You go to your room and sit on your bed…remembering when grandpa died. When you went to the funeral home. And saw him in his coffin.
You DON’T want your brother to die!! And you worry what will happen if he does.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
There are traumatic moments, days, and weeks when you live with someone with bipolar 2.
But there are also good moments, and good days, and good weeks. He’s the most kind and caring person you know. So caring, so tuned in to your needs, that he’s your best friend. You appreciate him so much.
…Until he begins to change and become agitated. And he talks of his frustration in a clipped, pressured way — as though he can’t get the words out fast enough. You can feel kind of betrayed, but you remember him doing this before, and your gut instinct says this is part of his illness.
He’s sick of it. You’re sick of it, too. (We get it.)
And something you learned when you were much younger was to never argue with him when he’s like this. You know better. So you listen and listen and listen to his heartbreaking diatribe. And you worry what will bring it to an end. Will he maybe just calm down? Or will try to kill himself again..? If only he’d go to sleep and wake up relaxed and at peace…
The good news is that IV ketamine treatment can be a wonderful treatment to relieve the long painful bouts of depression that your loved one with bipolar 2 experiences.
And the toll that it takes on the other family members who live with someone with bipolar 2. That toll can turn into treatment resistant depression, especially if you’re in the same family. (Does anyone ever talk about this?)
IV ketamine treatment can relieve that treatment resistant depression in family members, too. We often make the point that ketamine treatment isn’t for everyone, and it’s not. But it works extraordinarily well in most people with treatment resistant depression. In fact, it can relieve a whole family who has suffering from the stressors of living with someone with bipolar 2 disorder.
When you live with someone who’s not well, sometimes you get sick, too.
At Innovative Psychiatry, we’ve seen people who suffer with long, protracted periods of depression get better, enjoy motivation and initiative, and the relief when their mood is restored to joy.
And the same relief and restoration can happen for you. We’re set up to greet you at the door and bring you right in — no sitting in a waiting room! What’s more, we’ve gone the extra mile and equipped our offices and treatment rooms with plasma cell technology that continually destroys viruses, bacteria, and mold in the air and on all the surfaces—it doesn’t trap them on a filter. So you can come in for treatment with complete confidence and peace of mind that the air you breathe in our gorgeous space is 99.999% free and clean. Because we know you need peace of mind.
And most important for you: if you have someone with bipolar 2 in your family, be sure that you’re taking time for yourselves, and each other, as you help your loved one find the treatment they need.
Bipolar Disorder is a family illness. Everyone may need to get well. We’re here to help get you and your loved ones get the care you need.
Don’t try to face it all alone.
To the restoration of your best self,
